Immortality

Its the ending of a year and anticipating a new beginning of another year. To mark the end of 2009, I've actually went for a body check up today and would require a week of waiting in anticipation for my results. There is nothing like a body checkup to make you feel the full impact being a mere mortal. Us in our twenties would think we are invincible and there is nothing for us to worry. But having said that, the full impact of a check-up and the waiting period for the results is nerve wrecking. Let's face it, I don't lead a very healthy lifestyle besides my yoga regimen. So, of course, I would be worried.

Christmas Overdose!!!

"Tis the Season to be Jolly" and I've been hearing this over and over and over again since the beginning of December!!!!! I used to love Christmas for its really a time for my family and time for sharing and caring. However, of late, Christmas is so commercialized that all meaning of Christmas is lost. The endless and needless shopping for gifts for everyone, spending a bomb, thronging the malls with thousands others. Its just not right. Giving should be from the heart and its not obligatory. Nowadays, its hard to step out to anywhere without being blasted with Christmas carols, Christmas sales, Christmas decorations, Christmas spending etc. To me, the magic of Christmas is lost and I can't find the spark that has once made me long for Christmas so much.

*Smiles*

I'm feeling good this weekend. The only downside is I would be out of contact with my guy for two months while he is touring Africa. He just flew off last night :(

I had a good quiet weekend till now. Yesterday, I parked my butt at Dave's, One Utama for my cafeine dose, lunch and a couple of beers. I was there for more than 4 hours. I met someone quite interesting yesterday, an Irish tourist who enjoys a good Stout Draught. It was fun to talk to someone new. I enjoyed it a lot. But I can't help missing my boyfriend the whole time. This guy, John, reminds me of one of my guy's friend. The antics, the way they talk, the size, all pretty similiar. I hope he has a good time in KL for the next 2 weeks.

After I left Dave's, I went to collect my car at IBM's office. As I was exiting the parking lot, a security guard approached my car. I stopped, wondering what was his concern. As I wind down my window, it was one of my favorite guards while I was working there. He said he thought he saw me and approach to say hi. He said, long time no see. I was surprised he remembered me at all. There are easily 600 cars and thousands of people that thronged the building daily. But it felt good. It means that I had actually made an impression on this guard who didn't speak with me but just exchanged smiles. It goes to show, it doesn't cost anything to be nice to people.

2010...

As I'm sitting at my desk at work past 5.30pm, I wonder if this is what being a workaholic means? I don't know if I'm one or not. But I do know that I do enjoy my work and I don't mind spending a huge amount of time and effort in getting a job done well. Looking back work has become 80% of my life. Its amazing that I've been working for the past 4 years and evolved with a strong foundation built. Maybe its the fact that the year is coming to an end and I'm feeling nostalgic. I miss my days in IBM, I miss the fun I had there. I had moved on.

Looking back on 2009, I had a few ups and downs and made changes to my life. I have yet to assess on the changes that I had made. But I actually feel good with the changes, its sitting with me well. This is really a year of travel for me. To date, I had visited 12 countries and I'm still counting. I've been blessed this year. My last travel for the year was to Perth 2 weeks back. It was a fun and relaxing trip for me. For those who has placed Perth on the back burner for its laid-back environment, it really is that. But it has its charms and it was a relaxing 10 days for me.

Looking forward to 2010, I might have another change on the personal front, I'm waiting for it excitedly. I reckon, I would need to grow up and next year has loads of promises for that. I can't wait for the events that might happen. Who knows what 2010 will bring, I can plan and anticipate as much as I could but I'm just going to take each day as a blessing and enjoy the ride. I'm not going to make a new year resolution for 2010. I just wish for good health for everyone so that we all can enjoy life.

Trust?

I always wonder how much of one person can we trust? Can we trust someone whole heartedly and unquestioning? Does it take time for us to build trust? Can we just accept one word of, "No, darling, I won't do it"? Can we really ever achieve that level of trust between 2 people? If not, for every posted message in this day and time of Facebook, will evoke a sense of distrust. And if this goes on for a long time, this distrust will rear its ugly beastly head and sets a claw on you. It will continue to bite you and eat you till you are gone, digested by this beast and you are sucked into oblivion, leaving only remnants of what was once good till this beast arrives.

Marriage and Happily Ever After

Its amazing that a lot of us in our late twenties still have our vision or this pre-set image of us being happily married without arguments, hassles, clean-up. A friend I know once asked me, where is the happily ever after that we always watched in movies? Don't you find that question interesting? A lot of girls that I know have this notion of all things will be perfect after a perfect wedding. But what the movie doesn't show is the arguments that married couples will have over the toilet bowl seats, over the food under cooked or over cooked, the cleaning up, taking the trash out, etc. I mean, these arguments over the small stuff, its small and petty. But its always the smallest little things that can make or break a marriage. I have never lived with a guy or have never co-habitated with another person. I have done it while I was studying. I can personally vouch that it broke a few friendship that I had. Its not easy staying with your own girlfriends what more now, a guy for the rest of your life.

There are some skeptics and nay-sayers out there that would argue, if things can't work out, why not get a divorce. Its easy to say that IF you don't have kids, but the psychological aspect and the emotional impact of a divorce is not easy to overcome. Not only that, I know some guys out there who fell in love with a girl that parties, drinks and basically just plain good fun. After marriage or even after snagging a guy, things just disintegrate. The girl changed. The girl decided to put more attention, time and effort into the family. Staying home while the guy continues his ways. Girl nags guy to come home, girl argues that she's the only one making an effort to work at the marriage, things fall apart and why am I not surprise that they opt for a divorce at the end.

I ain't no saint. I've not been married. But after hearing all these, it scares the shit out of me in getting married. To me, moving in with a guy is a big thing. Getting married, its just an impending event if we ever do get around to it. Maybe I've reached an age where I do want to settle down. Would I change, I don't know. Would I curb my drinking and my partying ways, I really don't know. Do I still want my own life, hell yes. I can't imagine myself living my life for a guy. Been there, done that and its definitely not a good thing. I've found myself asking myself these questions. Some of my closest guy friend told me this. The best way a wife can please a husband, wait for them at the door, wearing only a 6 pack beer in one hand and pizza in the other. That sounds easy enough, but why aren't there more women doing it once in awhile just to please their man?

It all boils down to pride. In Asian culture, pride is everything. It defines who we are. The proud Asian who are proud of their culture, heritage and their men. Some of the proudest men, bordering on being a chauvinist, are Asians. Its literally in Tarzan's words, Me Man, You Woman. That to me is a recipe for disaster. But another fact that rings true, it doesn't matter where you get your appetite from, as long as you go home to eat, you avert a disaster. That applies to both men and women. Long gone are the days where women are the humble housewife that doesn't know any better. But then again, women who has this feminist side of her would not know what to do with this new found freedom. It doesn't come with a guidebook and certainly can't ask your mom or your elders about it. This is because the very idea of women going out to work, being independent, open and liberated is so strange to them as well as to all other women who are living this life now. Its surprising that only 60-70 years ago, women are fighting for voting rights. Maybe that's why more and more women are getting married late. They have found this new independence foreign and not knowing how to deal with it and be comfortable in it.

I, for one, find this exhilarating. Am I lost in it? Yes I am. Am I enjoying it? Hell yea.. Its not like my mom would get to enjoy an afternoon alone in an up class restaurant/bar, having her lunch and now sipping on a Mojito. I'm happy that I'm allowed to do all these and more without prejudice. Heck, traveling alone is not something so strange anymore. I wish my mom would be able to enjoy this freedom because it makes all the difference in trying to understand me and vice versa.

Time and again

I guess I never do learn. Like a moth drawn to flame, I'll always continue to put myself in danger of being hurt in hopes that I would be able to find happiness and bliss. Maybe that's what the moth was looking for. Attraction to the flame that will caused it to die. I'm sure in that blissfull moment before the moth dies, it would have been happiest. That's just my thinking.

There are some talks of relocation and there are talks of moving away. But I do realized one thing. I can't take another long distance relationship. Not for another 2 more years, not for another while more. It will take a toll on me and if need be, some changes have to be made. It may be good, may be bad. Only time will tell of the choices we made and the changes we adopt and the life we choose to lead.

Realization

I realized one thing, I've always taken things for granted. I didn't realized this till I got my 2 impacted wisdom teeth out. It was from both lower side. There wasn't much pain to be honest post surgery. But the pain came from other forms. Not being able to open my mouth, not being able to chew, not being able to talk, not being able to look myself in the mirror.

Post operation, I've been brief on what happens three times. Once by my own dentist, once by the surgeon before the operation and once after. However, nothing had prepared me for the swollen cheeks. I mean, I can't imagine my cheeks swelling up to the point of being a piglet and changing the shape of my face. It was a horrible moment. Scientifically I understand what is happening and what goes on during the recovery stage. Emotionally, I definitely wasn't prepared. I wasn't aware that I could be this vain. Its amazing what females go through.

In the end, its good for me I guess. And I'm taking this opportunity to officially quit my favorite sticks. Yes, I'm a smoker and although I would like to think I'm a social smoker, let's face it, there's no such thing as a social smoker. So I'm going to be smoke free from now on. I hope that this will last. I'm determined this time round.

Cheated

I really cheated today.. I was all psyched up for my wisdom tooth to be taken out and only to be told that he can't do it and referred me to a surgeon~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you believe in Karma?

I always say karma will have a way to come back and bite you in your arse. I had always believe in karma where one good turn deserves another and vice versa. There is nothing good and bad about karma but its where the world strikes a balance between the good and evil. For I'm a strong believer that for one good thing you have done, you would reap the benefits of that. However, for one bad, mean or spiteful action, karma will make sure that you will also experience it.

Case in point, I was relaxed at work last week. There were still things that need to be done, however, I had taken my own sweet time and bought my own time to finish the work. I think somehow, my boss might have sensed it. Admittedly, it was him being away that gave me some free time. This week when he is back, I was suddenly swamped me deadlines and work and not knowing which to prioritize. So I guess karma must have been in play. Oh well, I can't complain as I'm being paid to make it work somehow or other.

Weekends...

I've found a nice place to hang out for my weekends, Alexis @ The Gardens. Its been awhile since I had stepped out on my own armed with my laptop just to while away an afternoon. I just had my facial as well and now my face is pratically glowing while I blog about this moment now.

What I like about this place is the memories that I had here eating clam vongole and yabbies, sipping at mojito, laughing away. That's what I best remember this place of. I haven't come back here in awhile, the last time I was back here was in May and it was with my current guy to create new memories. I'm now seated at one corner of the restaurant on one of their comfy couches and in front of me is a group of 4 friends catching up, a couple which I'm assuming they are just about to start dating and a family of 3 having late lunch. I enjoy sitting in my quiet corner observing people that passes by, their antics and just plain chilling out. I love times like this when I'm alone and the world passes by with me watching it. This is my perfect Saturday afternoon :)

Another year coming to an end.. ALMOST

It just hit me that the year of 2009 is almost three quarters gone. The year has passed by in a blink. I've did loads of traveling this year and changed 2 jobs to date. There has been loads of moving and shaking for me. For good or bad, I've yet to decided but I'm planning to view it on the good side. Well, things can be good or bad depending on your perspective and how you want to view it. So for now, all things are rosy and happy. I think I've finally settled in, in my own skin, comfortable with things and surroundings. I've been blessed this year.

Sex Tourism

As I lay awake last night unable to sleep, tossing and turning, I suddenly remembered a statement made by a friend of mine. She doesn't enjoy going to places like Thailand and Cambodia for the perceived thoughts that its catered to the sex industry. I just thought that it was a sweeping statement made as the sex industry had evolved due to poverty and lack of resources, funding, bribery etc. Its difficult to say that its wrong or right. Like Thailand for example, they make no qualms that they enjoyed millions and billions baht in revenue from sex tourism. But these are all perceptions only.

This same friend of mine would have no qualms going to Amsterdam for a holiday. Now, let's be clear and not cheat ourselves on this. Amsterdam is famed for their red light district, their liberal thinking and drugs freely available. The world's oldest profession, prostitution, is legal in Amsterdam and there are legislation to protect these sex workers. They don't come by cheap in Amsterdam. If I remember correctly, its about 50Euros for a 20 minutes session of just blowjob and their customers are required by law to use a condom. Moreover, these sex workers have the right to refuse a customer.

Now, this is in a liberal country. Put the same girls and scenario in a country where prostitution is not legal but accepted. It becomes a seedy profession where the pimps are often greedy and girls forced into prostitution for various reasons, with the most common reason due to money or dire financial straits. Then, you will get people that exploits the situation and then, suddenly, its all painted in a different color and light.

My friend's sweeping statement was stemmed from a perception of how things are painted. There are certain truths in that statement but then, if each country were to take measured steps to ensure the workers' safety and public acceptance, I'm pretty sure Asian countries would be viewed in a very different way.

By the way, these are only those in the business of prostitution. I haven't even touch on those girls that used their bodies for material gains, although they are labelled as girlfriend by their prospective clients. Its still a business transaction at the end of the day and I'm seeing more and more of young girls with mature men with the hopes of earning money. How would you view this then?

Sex as business has always been viewed in a negative way. For me, its a way of survival like working is to adults. We need to have the means to pay our bills and secure a comfortable life later on. Why can't we be objective and view it as a profession?

1 Malaysia

Its once again, Malaysia's birthday. Although to be exact, Malaysia was only formed in 1963 and we are actually celebrating our independence from the British colony. Let's see what we have achieved in the last 52 years. We are more democratic now, we have voted in our oppositions, yet we are not progressing forward as we should. Everyday we read the newspaper of past corruptions and of injustice of those in position. Then, there is the political debate on alcohol consumption and education system in Bahasa Melayu or English. I'm pretty sure when we have had our independence, our forefather were thinking about how we progress as a country and to mark our presence on the world map. We have created a race called the bumiputras and we have a system that is not based on meritocracy but skin color. It still upsets me but I've grown up with it and for all the flaws she has, I would not abandon her and mouth a single bad word about her.

Its funny that 52 years ago, the whole world sat up and listen to us because we gained independence without any drop of blood shed. We have always enjoyed peace and harmony, in a multi racial country. We pride ourselves in being tolerant to other races, but the recent news of government wanting to tear down temples and holy places break my heart. I've never been a racist, I know what its like to be a 3rd generation of immigrants to a country. We may speak the language, we may blend in with the people yet, we are never truly home. That's how I feel. In fact, I have friends from different races, religions and background. Heck, I also have clothings from different cultures to be used for different function. There is nothing like donning a cheongsam, sari, punjabi suit and kebaya. I have this design in my head for a kebaya with sari material and a mandarin collar. It might be weird but i think its the best of 3 major cultures!!

So while I sketch this out and source the material out, I hope that the current Prime Minister speech of 1 Malaysia, without racial boundaries would come true. Its a wish that I dreamt of and it won't take an instant to change. It might take at least a whole generation to come to terms. But all I wish for is that I would be able to see this change happen while I'm still alive and breathing. And my kids would grow up to know the true and real meaning of racial harmony. I know I want my kids to be able to appreciate different cultures, assimilate it to their lifestyle and create a muhibbah culture for all Malaysians for generations to come. And even if we are all to speak in our own mother tongue, we would be able to understand what is being said. That's my wish and hope for Malaysia, that we would really be a muhibbah community!!! Happy 52nd birthday, dear old girl.. There's more to come and more to look forward to.

The Singles Bane

There are times where I really don't get what is wrong with ticking the singles check box in a form? I'm not married neither do I want to be at this stage in life. I'm happily dating someone although its long distance, but it does have its pros and cons to it. I'm happy being single and independent without depending on any guy. But ask anyone, my mom included, they would tell me its better to have a man to take care of you and bla bla bla... If I want someone to take care of me being a reason to get married, I find that sad. Might as well I look for a maid, I'm pretty sure they can take good care of me as well. I'm looking for a partner not someone to take care of me. I want someone to share my thoughts, my views, my ups and downs, and my future.

Sometimes, its not that wrong to tick the single checkbox. But I've been receiving more than enough invites to be part of some speed dating or dating groups. Do all of us need to put ourselves out there to get someone in our lives? I've seen most couples who suddenly become a "we" and there is no more individuality between the two of them. They seem to have lost who they are. Its pretty sad to me. Does it mean, if at this point in time, I don't have a boyfriend, I would be incomplete and should be looked down upon? Its pretty funny as I've had friends and colleagues alike asking me if they should set me up on blind dates.

Even now that I'm dating someone, it would be when are you getting married. Now this rile me up, is there really a need to get married at 27??? I'm at the happiest moment of my life. I have financial independence, free, ability to do anything. Yet, I'm being asked to settle down with another person and try to work things out. For now, thank you very much, but I'm actually happy with how the way things are now. Settling down? Not now my dear. I've still got loads to do before I can be another guy's equal.

Updates

Its been awhile since I've last updated my blog. I've quit my job in a company that I know I will miss. I went to explore a bit of the western world. Got sick, came home, got better, started work at another company and now I'm back online and up to speed with the world.

Its surprising when you are traveling that time seems immaterial and the things that happened around the world doesn't impact you at all. That's how I felt when I was in Turkey. I went out without a watch, time was really immaterial. The only thing that matters was when I can get my tummy filled, my skin to soak up as much rays as I could. The world went by fine without me acknowledging its presence. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss. The only major news I can't runaway from was Michael Jackson's death. Seems like even in death, his funeral and memorial can be turned into a showcase. Amazing....

I did some traveling to Western Europe with a week in Akbuk, Turkey. Looks like we have found a home in Turkey. Somehow, we made the place in Turkey seems like home after spending 5 days doing the place up and making it comfortable to stay in. It seems funny that we travel halfway round the world to meet up and make a place to call home. But I must admit, in the 5 days we had there, we did a pretty good job of making that place home. There is still more that needs to be done but I guess that can wait till the next time we are there. Maybe in another 6-9 months.

I had some time in London, Paris, Brussels and Amsterdam. Of all those places, I love London the most. Its not the cleanest city I've been to, neither is it the best city in terms of infrastructure. But there is something charming about the mix mash of the old and new in London that captivates me. Paris was beautiful, Brussels was charming and Amsterdam was liberal. But nothing compares to London. Its just a city that captivates and you can find yourself being sucked into the world there. Maybe there is some Harry Potter magic in the London air.

I wish I can blog more but I'm sleepy now... Will try another day... Want to capture my thoughts on Turkey and how it is compared to the western world.

He's just not that into you

If any of you read that book, you will have realized that 90% of the men you dated had displayed one or more of the scenario described in the book. If you had watched the movie, then you will realized that there are some instances there that seems like deja vu. How would you know if the guy is really interested or if he is just stringing you along for a good time? Then I suddenly wondered about my own relationships. Have I been dissecting all those small little things and pieced them all up the way I want them to? Am I insecure and not willing to trust the guy I'm with wholeheartedly? Is it really true that if the guy is interested, he will make things happen and make you really happy? I wonder how much of this is true and real in my current relationship?

Age Catching Up...

You will know when age has caught up with you. You would never be able to stay up all night long and still looked fresh the next day. You would never be able to last through 2 hours of gym without complaining of backache and muscle pain. You would never have that superb memory. You will suddenly find yourself with love handles, sagging boobs, fine lines and cellulites. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about myself.

I never knew that by the time I'm about to turn 27, I would have to face the reality that I'm old or at least I'm starting to be old. Its amazing that things I'm able to do 1-2 years ago, is now a task and a bloody big hassle to-do and that now, it leaves me breathless. Nowadays with my sleep being a big problem, I just realized how old I've suddenly become. I'm literally a walking zombie without a brain for the past few days. I feel lethargic and I feel slow and my brain wasn't working literally.

And to sum up my decline into old age, I went rock climbing today and while I was belaying a guy twice my size, I flew up when he came down. It has left bruises on my thighs where the harness had made its mark. I have nothing left to say except, the blue black better subside fast before my next waxing appointment. If not, my poor wax-er would have a field time guessing what I had done to deserve such blue blacks at my thighs...

Tired...

I have been having sleepless nights for the longest time. Working out, drinking, tiring myself out just didn't work for me. I just couldn't find the peace and quiet within me to close my eyes and lull my brain just to slow down and shut down. I wonder how long of this I would be able to withstand. Am just physically exhausted now. Where's Mr. Sandman when you need him this badly?

The Road Less Travelled

Die has been cast and I'm taking the road less travelled. I really don't know where this will lead me. But at least, I'm taking up this challenge by the horns. I'm going to deliver my promise. I'm going to make it work, whatever it takes. Life would not just be constant for everyone and I remain the same, in terms of attitude and outlook.

"The die has been cast"

The die has been cast. There is no looking back for me now. I've casted a die I should have casted almost a year back. Whatever that has happened in the past has developed me. It has made me grow. I've looked back and there are regrets but there are also bittersweet memories. Its deeply ingrained in me that no matter how hard I scrub, how much I ignored it, it will be a part of me. I'll always carry that memory, the experience with me. It has made me who I am now.

Honestly, at this point in time, I do have a number of regrets. But I don't want to carry them on with me. I have to learn to move on. For now, I'm happy with what I have in life. It might not be the best. I have left quite a fair bit of my life to chance and fate. It has brought me on a wonderful journey. Loads of ups and downs, for sure. Now, I want to move on. I want to march forward. I can't wait to see where this road will lead me to. But for sure, I can't wait for the next phase in my journey to start.

Feeling Stupid...

I've just realized that I've been presumptuous on certain things in my life. Today was a good slap in my face and the realization that all it took was just to let your guard down for a single second. That was all it takes. I always thought that I would not succumb to scams and such things. But lo and behold, that was just too presumptuous. Oh well, I've learnt a lesson and I'm putting it down as experience gained. I know my rights and I will not make the same mistake again.

Nostalgic about Petronas Twin Towers

I had always found the Twin Towers very mesmerizing. I could stare at it for ages without feeling bored and I thought that it is one of the most beautiful thing that Malaysian government had gotten it right for the first time. I know that it does not make sense to pay some much homage to structures but those who had yet to see and stayed within those towers would not know the feeling.

Also for me, I associate the towers with a lot of memories, some good, some bad , some that brings a smile to my face and some that brings a tear to my eyes. I have had really fond memories staring out from bars to the Twin Towers and memories working in those towers. It really is an amazing place where most KL-ites would have spent at least some parts of their lives in association to them.

A good race in Melbourne

In recent times, my interest in sports had vaned a bit. I'm getting cynical at sports. I've lost hope that our Malaysian shuttlers would rise to the challenge of doing the country proud. I've seen enough of rivalry in football to say now that Man Utd is leading and I'm happy with that, but its no longer earth shattering news to me. Basketball doesn't hold its grounds anymore when Kobe Bryant and Le Bron James entered the game. I know they are good, I've seen them play but somehow its just not the same anymore. Tennis still holds a special place in my heart, and my heart broke with Roger Federrer after the Australia Open. Olympics came and went in 2008 and my takeaway from that was China had invested loads of money and time to be able to hold its head high and announce to the world that they had arrived and ready to rumble with the big boys. To me, sports had became too commercialized, where every sportsman dreams to be good so that they can put their name out for endorsement. That's the whole reason why there are multimillion dollar endorsement out there up for grabs for those who had made it big.

But today's F1 race at Melbourne was different. It showed that underdogs could win on their debut. Although, to be there in F1 is a multi-billion investment but to hold your head high as a newcomer in a sports that had faded in its claims, that was the winner. I still love Ferrari but then, I'm going to root for Brawn Mercedes after their fantastic debut with a bailout equivalent to what AIG had spent. Hello, newcomers!!!!!!!!!

Serendipity

Serendipity, in an English dictionary it means the faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident. Have any of you ever experience such an incident? I'm a romantic person at heart although I may think I'm a cold bitch. But give me romance and I can assure you, I'll melt. I remember the movie I once watched, Serendipity, aeons ago. Its about a chance meeting in a shopping mall and a date later, decided to leave their relationship to faith. Like how all romantic comedies are, the couple in question had a happy ever after ending. Since then, I always looked around for my own serendipity. I always try new things and new activities with the hope and chance that I'll experience something like this. Also, it does keep me occupied over the weekend.

But the movie was made in 2001 and after awhile, I had given up hope that it will happen. I had given up that very idea, to be honest. I had met people at clubs, work, office, gym and even at coffee places. Some are interesting, some are self centred, some are friendly, and some are boring. An interesting mix of people that I had met and got to know. There are some I remain contact with and there are some I save their contact details as "Do Not Answer". But there is one chance meeting I'll never forget.

I was in Thailand July last year and as some know, I had ended up going there with a couple. Not that I have anything against traveling with a couple, just that 6 days of being a bloody big light bulb nearly put me off the trip. I did persevere after all. Nothing was going to stop me from enjoying the trip I had looked forward to since January. After 4 nights of changing places, meeting people at the bar or at the beach and chatting with them, the 5th day that we were there, we decided to go rock climbing. It was something that I was super adamant to do. I had heard so much about the limestone cliffs in Krabi, it would be hell if I miss scaling it.

After we decided on the rock climbing school, off we went in the afternoon to climb and scale those damned slopes. We met a lot of different nationalities there and we chatted with everyone. It was fun and the guides had asked us to join them that night at their bar called Last Bar. It was literally the last bar on East Railay. Some of the people we had met there had said that they will be there as well. So you can imagine my excitement at having different people to mix around with!!!!

After dinner, we went there. It was really a nice place and the best part is, the bar was built on stilts and thatched roof and it has an open air seating area. My type of laid back hangout joint. I loved it so much there that I didn't mind that I was left alone to stare at the stars above. It was a clear sky mind you. The funny part was, the people we had met earlier in the day, didn't show up. So that's how I ended up staring at the stars that night. I wasn't drinking much that night as we have an early day the next day of traveling back to KL. But I was longing for something to do and talk. The couple had already settled themselves down to an intimate chat and I was feeling really left out. It doesn't help that the tables surrounding us are groups and they left us (me) alone. :(

However, I noticed at a table across our's, there was a guy that had stared at me a couple of times. I just gave a smile back in return. I just thought it was funny that he was alone when before that there were a bunch of girls at his table as well. I was itching for conversation by then. There is so much of stars that I could count and hope to see a shooting star was diminishing!! So I approached that guy and asked for a stick. And in his exact words, you can only have it if you sit here with me. Fair enough, and I happily obliged. That's how my relationship with serendipity started. A chance meeting in a foreign place, where the people didn't turn up and his friends had turned in early for bed. If his friends had stayed on, I wouldn't have approached him. Had my climbing acquaintances showed up, I would have been occupied. So, quoting him, "We met in a really nice place, Railay Beach at a really cool bar called The Last Bar, and PJ had to put up with me ever since then."

What is a Relationship?

I've been constantly asking myself that question. What is a relationship? What is it that constitutes a relationship? What makes a man and a woman to decide to commit to each other? What makes the opposite attracts each other in the first place?

We are currently living in a fast paced technology world where everything speeds up, patience run thin and expectations are high. Do we still have the normal dates where guy picks girl up from home, "interview" with the parents, bring girl out for dinner with flowers and send her home by midnight, and steal a kiss by the door before the father opens the door? Do we still have a conventional date? And what are the dating rules now? Sex on the first date? Sex on the third date? No sex till marriage? Is there still a first date?

The dating rules have changed over the years. Where once the guy will ask the girl to be his girlfriend, with the same serious face as proposal. Now, its a chance meeting in a bar, dancing together, chugging down shots, more dancing and then, a kiss and you leave the bar holding hands, exchanging phone numbers, loads of flirty sms-es and viola, next date will be a romp in bed. And then, moving in together and before you know it, they are together for donkey months. When they finally decided to get married, they'll divorce within months of the marriage. Does that sound familiar to you? Has it happened to someone you know or you yourself?

So what makes a relationship last? Are there clear and set rules? Fundamentally, what is a relationship?

30 days mark

Let's see, its almost one month to the new year and what have I done so far? I went to Australia for 2 weeks and I've got a new role to come back to at work. In fact, I've done quite a fair bit of traveling in December 08 and January 09, to the point that my friends asked me first where am I instead of what I'm doing. As I had mentioned, I was in Siem Reap before Christmas, headed down south for Christmas and then, work for 2 weeks and I was off to Australia for 2 weeks.

I really racked up some travel mileage over the last 2 months. I had really enjoyed it though. I had seen poverty in 3rd world country and went off to metropolitan city and then to a developed country with abundance of land and resources. Its really 3 different places with very distinct atmosphere and feel. I'm glad I had the chance to experience it all. But my last trip was an eye opener for me.

Coming from Malaysia, I had known Asian countries and I haven't travel to a Western country before (Singapore doesn't count!), going to Australia was a totally different experience. I thought summer in Australia would be hot and it would be nice to sit by the beach and get a tan. Boy, was I wrong when I stepped out from the plane at Melbourne! Melbourne is really a quirky place which I come to like a lot. You can experience 4 seasons on a summer day and it switches from cold to hot back to cold in matter of hours. The other thing I couldn't get used to was the fact, sun sets at 9pm!!! Also, I noticed that drinking is the unofficial national sports which all Aussies enjoy. The other thing that got to me was their barbie. I really enjoyed the barbie and drinks that I had the chance to experience with some friends. Although I did see a lot of the country in the span of 2 weeks, I had the most fun hanging out at a friend's backyard, enjoying the barbie with a VB and playing monopoly after that. Its one of those simple pleasures that I can never get enough of. By the way, I can do a mean burp now whereas someone I know can practically fart all night long!! A symphony of wind :p

After Melbourne, I was in Geelong to meet some friends and to do Great Ocean Road and to see the Twelve Apostles. Now, that bloody pile of rocks a bit disappointing but beautiful nevertheless. After 3 days in Geelong and a dose of cricket, we flew to Sydney. Met with some more friends and more drinking ensued :) However, I was insistent to take pictures with the Opera House, Harbour Bridge and to walk to Darling Harbour. Also, I wanted to feel the sand of Bondi. I did all that and more. Oh well, I am a tourist after all ;)

After that, a road trip to Brisbane was a scenic drive with cows and sheep and more cows and sheep. I think I saw more cows and sheep on this trip than I ever have in my whole entire life. But along the way, I got to see Big Banana and Big Prawn. I've always wondered what's with the obsession with all things big. Oh well, to one's own I guess. We ended up in Byron Bay for 2 nights. I fell in love with that place. Its a small laid back town that has interesting pubs, shopping street and cosy small town feel. Its a fantastic place with one of the best bars I've been to and a superb beach. What more can a girl ask for?

We headed north again to Gold Coast. I get to cuddle my koala here and be upclose and personal with kangaroos. I even went to Movie World to have a bit of Hollywood glamour in Australia. I'm just disappointed I didn't get to see Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes there. That would have made my day.

So all in, it was 2 weeks worth of being a tourist and I saw a bit more of Australia than I could possibly imagine. I can't wait for my next trip back to Australia :) After all the fun activities of the past 2 weeks, I came back to KL for CNY. I refused to be disowned on Chinese New Year. Thus, I've decided to do what every dutiful daughter would have done, come home for reunion dinner and usher in the Year of Ox with as much fanfare as possible. After all, who can resist the lure of receiving ang pau (money!!) and a good feast with it too~~~!!

So to all, Happy Chinese New Year, Gong Xi Fa Cai. May the Year of Ox brings happiness, health and wealth and may all have an Ox-picious year ahead.

What is it that we want?

Let's take a count, who, at this moment now, knows exactly what they want out of this life? They know exactly what is the charter right in front of them now and know exactly what they will achieve 2 years down the road? I don't know. I never knew. I have had made plans and I've seen it crumble in front of my eyes in a split second. So now I asked, would you still plan?

I don't know about you but I still try to plan but as I have noticed, sometimes life has its own charter. We might not get what we want out of it. Heck, I might not even get 50% of what I had planned. But in the end, we will reach somewhere. Like they say, enjoy the journey while it lasts. At least, live not to regret the things you had done.

I remember a story a friend had told me. A couple met and got married quite late in life. Both were in their late 30s. They had a blissful married life and was blessed with a cute daughter. But what happened was the husband passed away about 3 years after the marriage. He was diagnosed with cancer. Now, the wife was heart broken that she is now left alone after finding love and needing to take care of the daughter on her own. I'm not sure about their financial capabilities, but that aside, she was angry at the husband for passing on so early. In fact, her remark was, she couldn't believe he had wasted his life when he was young that he couldn't spend more time with her. Actually, the hubby was a party goer, drinking, smoking a lot. But that was where they had met, in a club partying. But yea, you do clean up your act after you have settled down. But you can't regret your past. If the husband had lived healthier, they might not have met. Its easy for me to say that as I'm looking on as a third party.

Would you have lived different lives or changed your lifestyle knowing that you might have a slight chance of possibility of meeting someone you want to share your life with, not knowing when and not knowing how?

That's the question I'm asking myself. Would I be like the woman, all angst and bitter about the husband's death? Or, would I be forgiving and reflecting back on the good memories? If and when I had chosen to settle down with someone.

A new me!!

I took the plunge, I finally did, I cut my hair~!! Ok, I didn't literally cut it on my own, I left it to my trusted hairstylist to do that. I'm not that brave to meddle with my hair length. But it has given me a fresh look and I haven't had hair this short for the last 6 years. :)

What do you think about it?

A brand new year

2009 has officially dawned on us. I'm back to work on the 2nd day of the year. Things are quiet in office and we all gathered to go out for a long lunch. Oh well, it wasn't that long, only 1.5 hours but better than being back in office after a hurried lunch.

The start of 2009. No, I don't have a new year resolution as I still haven't achieved what I had wanted to set out to do in 2008. That's to be debt free. I'm just about there although not quite yet, but I'll make sure that I achieve this is in 2009.

Reflecting back on 2008, I'm happy with the stuff that I had done, no regrets on actions I had taken and with that, I'm moving forward into 2009 anticipating a fantastic year ahead. 2009 for me will be a year of change and anticipation of bigger things to come. I can't wait for the challenge of change. Let's bring on 2009.