Time and again

I guess I never do learn. Like a moth drawn to flame, I'll always continue to put myself in danger of being hurt in hopes that I would be able to find happiness and bliss. Maybe that's what the moth was looking for. Attraction to the flame that will caused it to die. I'm sure in that blissfull moment before the moth dies, it would have been happiest. That's just my thinking.

There are some talks of relocation and there are talks of moving away. But I do realized one thing. I can't take another long distance relationship. Not for another 2 more years, not for another while more. It will take a toll on me and if need be, some changes have to be made. It may be good, may be bad. Only time will tell of the choices we made and the changes we adopt and the life we choose to lead.

Realization

I realized one thing, I've always taken things for granted. I didn't realized this till I got my 2 impacted wisdom teeth out. It was from both lower side. There wasn't much pain to be honest post surgery. But the pain came from other forms. Not being able to open my mouth, not being able to chew, not being able to talk, not being able to look myself in the mirror.

Post operation, I've been brief on what happens three times. Once by my own dentist, once by the surgeon before the operation and once after. However, nothing had prepared me for the swollen cheeks. I mean, I can't imagine my cheeks swelling up to the point of being a piglet and changing the shape of my face. It was a horrible moment. Scientifically I understand what is happening and what goes on during the recovery stage. Emotionally, I definitely wasn't prepared. I wasn't aware that I could be this vain. Its amazing what females go through.

In the end, its good for me I guess. And I'm taking this opportunity to officially quit my favorite sticks. Yes, I'm a smoker and although I would like to think I'm a social smoker, let's face it, there's no such thing as a social smoker. So I'm going to be smoke free from now on. I hope that this will last. I'm determined this time round.