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I'm feeling stupid and dumb. I don't know which is worse

Of Singapore and Celebrity Deaths

Yes, you read it right. Its really about me, Singapore and celebrity death. The last few times I was in Singapore for training by my company, Anna Nicole Smith died and now Heath Ledger. All young celebrities who died before their time. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal but Heath Ledger's death was a real complete surprise. I mean, he is really just 2 years older than me. Although he has achieved a lot in his short time, I mean, his achievement surpassed whatever I could do in my own lifetime. But in reality all the stuff that he did just doesn't lay the path of how he died. It was actually how he died and the speculation surrounding it. It just doesn't do justice for the work he did on screen. Moreover, his works was one of the most brilliant for an actor of his time. Look at his contemporary, are there any that can match his work and his intensity on how he brought his character to life, to relate to us.

I had loved him in "10 things I hate about you". The way he sang "Too Good To Be True" at the football field was just hysterical. "A Knight's Tale" was a super spin off of modern ways of life in the medieval times. I can't help but mention him in "The Patriot" and "Monster's Ball". There's his Oscar nominated role in "Brokeback Mountain". I know I can't see him as the gay cowboy but impress me he did in that role. As controversial his roles were, his on screen persona and his humble attitude had been a brilliant mix. But somehow, his best work on screen doesn't do justice to his death. People picketing outside the Screen Actors' Guild award to protest his death. I mean seriously, don't you guys have anything better to do? He might be a gay cowboy on screen, but off screen, he is straight as ever, with a string of ladies and a daughter to boot. Where's their compassion for his friends and family that are in mourning? In the end, who are they to pass judgement on whether Heath is in hell? I believe those who passed judgement on others, will be judged harsher when its their turn. The news of the picketers really struck a chord in me. The police are still unclear about his cause of death yet, there are some people picketing about his work on screen. GET A LIFE~~!!!

In the end, I just hope that Heath Ledger could be laid in peace and may he rest in peace forever in the city he had loved so much. I can't wait to see his last work, The Dark Knight. I know it will be good and I hope he gets an Oscar nomination posthumous. His portrayal of the Joker is scary as I watched the trailer months ago. It gave me goose bumps just watching it. I know I'll mourn in silent for the great actor he would be, but I also mourn the death of a brilliant actor that I had known since my university days.

Singapore Training

Its the 2nd day of my training and boy, I'm exhausted. The constant call taking and practising and more bad news to come my way, I guess my training has not been the easiest but it was fun nevertheless because it was a regional training. I finally get to see my counterparts in Thailand, Singapore and Indonesia. Yes, some of them do scare me but some are the nicest people in the world. We went to drink after our "compulsory" class dinner today. It was fun as it was a mix of Singaporean, Thai and Malaysian. I had so much laughter and so much fun. Yes, I'm sacrificing my sleep and a bit tipsy but I realized that I had missed out on the very basic socializing skills. It was really a lot of laughter trying to comprehend the language barrier and make jokes and laugh at each other. It made me realized, the underlying nature of all humans are we are all sociable to a certain extend and we definitely had demonstrated that. Although I might see them only once a year but trust me, its enough to make an everlasting bond with all of them that had brought a smile to my face and a laughter and a common love for food and beer.

Fuck

One word sums up my whole week... FUCK~!!

Indigestion

Recently, I've been strike with a bout of diarrhea. Partly due to food poisoning but mostly due to my gastric. I don't think you would want me to describe the outcome of things and the color of it. But I had it for like 4 days before willing to seek medical help. By then, I was dehydrated and weak without being able to sleep at night. The night before, I practically slept in the toilet. Mind you the smell wasn't fantastic either :( nevertheless, seek help I did. Just that, the graphical image I had to paint to the doctor was a super literal and punctuated with very loud and long and strong flatulence. I swear, I wished there was a hole I could crawl into or just melt into the floor. What's worse was the doctor's expression. Polite he tried to be but when the smell reached him, he was choking mind you. Yes, if you must know, I think the gas was in the forming for the past week or so. Even till now, when I stopped running to the toilet, my tummy is still super bloated. So if any of you want to approach me, do so at your own risk.

Yes, I'm not that lady and definitely will never be. When you gotta go, you gotta go. :) I won't make an apology of it.. hehehe

Cam Whore?

Hmmm.. I asked myself this question. Am I a camera whore? I guess I am. But there was a period where the very sight of camera sends me the shivers. Am I obnoxious in that sense? I should be. Especially in my really FAT days, I abhorred looking at a camera and what more, taking photos with it.. Gosh, the very idea of it scares the hell out of me. Every single photo I was in, showed double chin, a fat girl with long hair down the sides to cover the fat cheeks~!! I looked horrible nevertheless. Actually the only thing that remains in those pictures was my smile. I'm always ever ready with a smile, regardless my size. :)

Nowadays, I adore taking pictures, armed with my trusty Nokia N73 and my Cybershot, I take pictures of events, places and myself. I've been blessed to be photogenic (not in any model sense~!) But at the very, least I don't look horrible now. So cam whore, so what I say :p

Public Holiday... What holiday?

I think I have reached the milestone where the turning point is for me to complain and be a total bitch about everything~~!! From work to life to love to life in general. I wonder have I become jaded and cynical to life? In all honesty, I was relating to a colleague the other day. If I were to measure my success in terms of what I have achieve materially, I've done a lot. I mean, I closed my first million ringgit deal last year, my first million USD deal last year Aug and a deal which I worked from the beginning right up to the end and it was worth more than USD 1M last year October. But while I'm proud of all these achievement, there is something else I'm more proud of myself. It is I have finally managed to get someone to sit down and talk to me, have lunch with me and also, bought me lunch. To those who don't know this guy, he is really someone hard to get close with and he works very individually. It was my utmost surprise that I can have that kind of comradeship with him. To me, that means more than the others. It showed me that sincerity in a relationship is very important. It also showed me when I'm at my most cynical moment in my life, humans can change and he showed me that all is fair in this world. If you treat someone well, they'll return that treat by treating you well as well. At least, I had felt all is not lost in the corporate world. :)

2008 Resolutions

Its now time for me to "pen" down my resolution for this year. This year, I only have one resolution and I better make sure it is achievable. I aim to be debt FREE this year. Yes, that includes all the loans and what not. Achievable? Maybe. But one thing's for sure, I know I'll make a point to achieve this. I am hell bent on achieving this.

There's also my list of To-DOs for this year. But whatever leftovers from last year, I'll make it a point to do it this year. Heck, I already have the whole year planned out. What I want to do, my holidays, my budget and also my work. Now it just leaves any ad hoc trips and plans. Also, knowing me, there's also the backup plans, Plan B and Cs :p

Fireworks @ Mutiara Damansara

I finally managed to upload this. Hope you can view it. And please turn down the volume, there will be parts where people screaming and screeching, me included :p

Some of the photos from that night