I had lived the whole of last month in retrospect of events of last year. In fact, I'm still feeling it now and experiencing it now. I had always wondered if things were done differently, would the outcome be different now? To me, karma has a way of biting your ass back when it hurts you the most. Would things had been different if precautions were not thrown into the wind and things are not taken with a pinch of salt.
There are times I felt that the way things are moving for me, chances are I can either move up and out or I move somewhere with no hope. I had built a good foundation for myself over the past year but the recent event of making one wrong inch, my whole reputation along with my name, credibility and respect went down into the dumps without a second thought. Now, I understand why credibility and respect must be earned.
When I was feeling down last year, I wanted to reflect on where my earlier enthusiasm, when I first started working with my current company, went. I volunteered to be the newbies' guide so to say. It was surprising when I realized who I was 1.5 years back and with the same wide innocent eyes, looking around as though I have the whole world under my feet and the oysters' for my plucking. It was strange to realized that was what I am through their eyes. After that, someone came to me to tell me don't go looking for that spark of innocence and enthusiasm. You have grown up and things and outlook will change as time goes by. When you go searching for something as abstract as that, chances are you will never find it. That might depress you further. Why don't you look forward and see what happens. Always be brave in looking forward, no point holding on the past. Never have to fear the future for the future is built on the foundation of today.
There were loads of truth in those words. I had went looking for that spark of innocence and that spark of joy I once had when I joined. I realized I didn't find any of it. Instead, I've learnt a little bit more about myself, both good and bad. I've learnt to come to terms with my shortfalls. I've learnt to be proud of my achievements, I've learnt that at all times, never give up and whatever joy I had, had been replaced with a more mature me. Cynical and jaded I may be on this work front. It might not be such a bad thing in view of the self protection I need to armor myself with. Maybe I should just let things develop on its own. It would be something I've yet to learn but I appreciate the friends I had made along the way and the loyalty I've garnered and earned from them.
There are times I felt that the way things are moving for me, chances are I can either move up and out or I move somewhere with no hope. I had built a good foundation for myself over the past year but the recent event of making one wrong inch, my whole reputation along with my name, credibility and respect went down into the dumps without a second thought. Now, I understand why credibility and respect must be earned.
When I was feeling down last year, I wanted to reflect on where my earlier enthusiasm, when I first started working with my current company, went. I volunteered to be the newbies' guide so to say. It was surprising when I realized who I was 1.5 years back and with the same wide innocent eyes, looking around as though I have the whole world under my feet and the oysters' for my plucking. It was strange to realized that was what I am through their eyes. After that, someone came to me to tell me don't go looking for that spark of innocence and enthusiasm. You have grown up and things and outlook will change as time goes by. When you go searching for something as abstract as that, chances are you will never find it. That might depress you further. Why don't you look forward and see what happens. Always be brave in looking forward, no point holding on the past. Never have to fear the future for the future is built on the foundation of today.
There were loads of truth in those words. I had went looking for that spark of innocence and that spark of joy I once had when I joined. I realized I didn't find any of it. Instead, I've learnt a little bit more about myself, both good and bad. I've learnt to come to terms with my shortfalls. I've learnt to be proud of my achievements, I've learnt that at all times, never give up and whatever joy I had, had been replaced with a more mature me. Cynical and jaded I may be on this work front. It might not be such a bad thing in view of the self protection I need to armor myself with. Maybe I should just let things develop on its own. It would be something I've yet to learn but I appreciate the friends I had made along the way and the loyalty I've garnered and earned from them.
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