1 Malaysia

Its once again, Malaysia's birthday. Although to be exact, Malaysia was only formed in 1963 and we are actually celebrating our independence from the British colony. Let's see what we have achieved in the last 52 years. We are more democratic now, we have voted in our oppositions, yet we are not progressing forward as we should. Everyday we read the newspaper of past corruptions and of injustice of those in position. Then, there is the political debate on alcohol consumption and education system in Bahasa Melayu or English. I'm pretty sure when we have had our independence, our forefather were thinking about how we progress as a country and to mark our presence on the world map. We have created a race called the bumiputras and we have a system that is not based on meritocracy but skin color. It still upsets me but I've grown up with it and for all the flaws she has, I would not abandon her and mouth a single bad word about her.

Its funny that 52 years ago, the whole world sat up and listen to us because we gained independence without any drop of blood shed. We have always enjoyed peace and harmony, in a multi racial country. We pride ourselves in being tolerant to other races, but the recent news of government wanting to tear down temples and holy places break my heart. I've never been a racist, I know what its like to be a 3rd generation of immigrants to a country. We may speak the language, we may blend in with the people yet, we are never truly home. That's how I feel. In fact, I have friends from different races, religions and background. Heck, I also have clothings from different cultures to be used for different function. There is nothing like donning a cheongsam, sari, punjabi suit and kebaya. I have this design in my head for a kebaya with sari material and a mandarin collar. It might be weird but i think its the best of 3 major cultures!!

So while I sketch this out and source the material out, I hope that the current Prime Minister speech of 1 Malaysia, without racial boundaries would come true. Its a wish that I dreamt of and it won't take an instant to change. It might take at least a whole generation to come to terms. But all I wish for is that I would be able to see this change happen while I'm still alive and breathing. And my kids would grow up to know the true and real meaning of racial harmony. I know I want my kids to be able to appreciate different cultures, assimilate it to their lifestyle and create a muhibbah culture for all Malaysians for generations to come. And even if we are all to speak in our own mother tongue, we would be able to understand what is being said. That's my wish and hope for Malaysia, that we would really be a muhibbah community!!! Happy 52nd birthday, dear old girl.. There's more to come and more to look forward to.

The Singles Bane

There are times where I really don't get what is wrong with ticking the singles check box in a form? I'm not married neither do I want to be at this stage in life. I'm happily dating someone although its long distance, but it does have its pros and cons to it. I'm happy being single and independent without depending on any guy. But ask anyone, my mom included, they would tell me its better to have a man to take care of you and bla bla bla... If I want someone to take care of me being a reason to get married, I find that sad. Might as well I look for a maid, I'm pretty sure they can take good care of me as well. I'm looking for a partner not someone to take care of me. I want someone to share my thoughts, my views, my ups and downs, and my future.

Sometimes, its not that wrong to tick the single checkbox. But I've been receiving more than enough invites to be part of some speed dating or dating groups. Do all of us need to put ourselves out there to get someone in our lives? I've seen most couples who suddenly become a "we" and there is no more individuality between the two of them. They seem to have lost who they are. Its pretty sad to me. Does it mean, if at this point in time, I don't have a boyfriend, I would be incomplete and should be looked down upon? Its pretty funny as I've had friends and colleagues alike asking me if they should set me up on blind dates.

Even now that I'm dating someone, it would be when are you getting married. Now this rile me up, is there really a need to get married at 27??? I'm at the happiest moment of my life. I have financial independence, free, ability to do anything. Yet, I'm being asked to settle down with another person and try to work things out. For now, thank you very much, but I'm actually happy with how the way things are now. Settling down? Not now my dear. I've still got loads to do before I can be another guy's equal.

Updates

Its been awhile since I've last updated my blog. I've quit my job in a company that I know I will miss. I went to explore a bit of the western world. Got sick, came home, got better, started work at another company and now I'm back online and up to speed with the world.

Its surprising when you are traveling that time seems immaterial and the things that happened around the world doesn't impact you at all. That's how I felt when I was in Turkey. I went out without a watch, time was really immaterial. The only thing that matters was when I can get my tummy filled, my skin to soak up as much rays as I could. The world went by fine without me acknowledging its presence. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss. The only major news I can't runaway from was Michael Jackson's death. Seems like even in death, his funeral and memorial can be turned into a showcase. Amazing....

I did some traveling to Western Europe with a week in Akbuk, Turkey. Looks like we have found a home in Turkey. Somehow, we made the place in Turkey seems like home after spending 5 days doing the place up and making it comfortable to stay in. It seems funny that we travel halfway round the world to meet up and make a place to call home. But I must admit, in the 5 days we had there, we did a pretty good job of making that place home. There is still more that needs to be done but I guess that can wait till the next time we are there. Maybe in another 6-9 months.

I had some time in London, Paris, Brussels and Amsterdam. Of all those places, I love London the most. Its not the cleanest city I've been to, neither is it the best city in terms of infrastructure. But there is something charming about the mix mash of the old and new in London that captivates me. Paris was beautiful, Brussels was charming and Amsterdam was liberal. But nothing compares to London. Its just a city that captivates and you can find yourself being sucked into the world there. Maybe there is some Harry Potter magic in the London air.

I wish I can blog more but I'm sleepy now... Will try another day... Want to capture my thoughts on Turkey and how it is compared to the western world.

He's just not that into you

If any of you read that book, you will have realized that 90% of the men you dated had displayed one or more of the scenario described in the book. If you had watched the movie, then you will realized that there are some instances there that seems like deja vu. How would you know if the guy is really interested or if he is just stringing you along for a good time? Then I suddenly wondered about my own relationships. Have I been dissecting all those small little things and pieced them all up the way I want them to? Am I insecure and not willing to trust the guy I'm with wholeheartedly? Is it really true that if the guy is interested, he will make things happen and make you really happy? I wonder how much of this is true and real in my current relationship?

Age Catching Up...

You will know when age has caught up with you. You would never be able to stay up all night long and still looked fresh the next day. You would never be able to last through 2 hours of gym without complaining of backache and muscle pain. You would never have that superb memory. You will suddenly find yourself with love handles, sagging boobs, fine lines and cellulites. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about myself.

I never knew that by the time I'm about to turn 27, I would have to face the reality that I'm old or at least I'm starting to be old. Its amazing that things I'm able to do 1-2 years ago, is now a task and a bloody big hassle to-do and that now, it leaves me breathless. Nowadays with my sleep being a big problem, I just realized how old I've suddenly become. I'm literally a walking zombie without a brain for the past few days. I feel lethargic and I feel slow and my brain wasn't working literally.

And to sum up my decline into old age, I went rock climbing today and while I was belaying a guy twice my size, I flew up when he came down. It has left bruises on my thighs where the harness had made its mark. I have nothing left to say except, the blue black better subside fast before my next waxing appointment. If not, my poor wax-er would have a field time guessing what I had done to deserve such blue blacks at my thighs...

Tired...

I have been having sleepless nights for the longest time. Working out, drinking, tiring myself out just didn't work for me. I just couldn't find the peace and quiet within me to close my eyes and lull my brain just to slow down and shut down. I wonder how long of this I would be able to withstand. Am just physically exhausted now. Where's Mr. Sandman when you need him this badly?

The Road Less Travelled

Die has been cast and I'm taking the road less travelled. I really don't know where this will lead me. But at least, I'm taking up this challenge by the horns. I'm going to deliver my promise. I'm going to make it work, whatever it takes. Life would not just be constant for everyone and I remain the same, in terms of attitude and outlook.

"The die has been cast"

The die has been cast. There is no looking back for me now. I've casted a die I should have casted almost a year back. Whatever that has happened in the past has developed me. It has made me grow. I've looked back and there are regrets but there are also bittersweet memories. Its deeply ingrained in me that no matter how hard I scrub, how much I ignored it, it will be a part of me. I'll always carry that memory, the experience with me. It has made me who I am now.

Honestly, at this point in time, I do have a number of regrets. But I don't want to carry them on with me. I have to learn to move on. For now, I'm happy with what I have in life. It might not be the best. I have left quite a fair bit of my life to chance and fate. It has brought me on a wonderful journey. Loads of ups and downs, for sure. Now, I want to move on. I want to march forward. I can't wait to see where this road will lead me to. But for sure, I can't wait for the next phase in my journey to start.

Feeling Stupid...

I've just realized that I've been presumptuous on certain things in my life. Today was a good slap in my face and the realization that all it took was just to let your guard down for a single second. That was all it takes. I always thought that I would not succumb to scams and such things. But lo and behold, that was just too presumptuous. Oh well, I've learnt a lesson and I'm putting it down as experience gained. I know my rights and I will not make the same mistake again.

Nostalgic about Petronas Twin Towers

I had always found the Twin Towers very mesmerizing. I could stare at it for ages without feeling bored and I thought that it is one of the most beautiful thing that Malaysian government had gotten it right for the first time. I know that it does not make sense to pay some much homage to structures but those who had yet to see and stayed within those towers would not know the feeling.

Also for me, I associate the towers with a lot of memories, some good, some bad , some that brings a smile to my face and some that brings a tear to my eyes. I have had really fond memories staring out from bars to the Twin Towers and memories working in those towers. It really is an amazing place where most KL-ites would have spent at least some parts of their lives in association to them.