I know of this lady who is going to turn 70 soon. She had issues of trust with people. She had never trusted anyone fully including her own kids. She had married in her early thirties and had an oppressive mother-in-law. She had served her MIL her whole life and then, her husband had cancer. She, once again became the primary caregiver for her hubby. After being the primary caregiver and giving all those around her problems with her drama and her persistence, she learns how to be with herself. After so many years of taking care of others, for once, she begins to be alone and truly not enjoying it. I reckon she got lost on knowing what to do. She starts imagining things that had happened, replacing the reality with figments of her imagination. She tries to be normal, she tries to lead a normal life. But slowly, her life has just been figments of her imagination, so much so that she thought up of excuses for herself, victimized herself whilst blaming everyone else. She misplaced her keys, couldn't find her stuff and blame it on others. Living with her was a living hell.
But if one looks back to her story, she wasn't like that when she was growing up. She was a happy go lucky girl that was always cheerful. I still can see glimpse of that girl, beneath all that unhappiness she projects. She had thought she fell in love with the one guy that she had known since young, her cousin brother. She had not thought that he would break her heart. From what I could gather in between the lines, she had stayed with the man, given her all for that 7 years of being together. What happened at the end was just a recollection. They had saved up their money in joint accounts and with hopes of getting married. Apparently, the guy had took all their savings and went off with another woman. It sounds like something out of the movie where a girl gets cheated by another man. But this story doesn't have a Hollywood ending. The girl ended up heart broken, she couldn't trust anyone. She became depressed and she couldn't live her life for a long while. In the end, she chose to marry another man just to escape from it all.
Then, when things become unbearable during her marriage, she lived in a coulda, woulda, shoulda world. The horrible world of what ifs. It was a vicious cycle that had kept her depressed and clinical depression that is left unchecked will have horrible repercussions.
I'm not sure to put this woman down as sick in literally sense or someone that has just been scorned. I had always thought of those people who couldn't live through a heartbreak as someone who is weak and just couldn't get a hold of themselves. Now, I'm starting to think that there are people who just can't pull themselves together and piece themselves up after a life changing situation. Sad part is, she had put all her hopes to this one guy that had hurt her the most. Sadder part, she had delved too deep into her own sadness that she couldn't climb out. Saddest part, she had spent the rest of her life after in a haze and no way in hell would the fog clear.
On the other hand, coming out from a broken relationship and knowing full well that you had wanted to die, crash your car and just stop living, I can really empathize with her. Maybe times are changing, women now have a lot more choices and a lot more freedom to do things as you will, instead of depending on a man to provide. Women nowadays have the option to walk out from a relationship and be independent, and it is not wrong to stand for your own right.
I wished she had lived in a different time and she would have the courage to move on and not let the whole experience overshadow her and stop her from living a life that's worthwhile.
0 comments:
Post a Comment