Freedom?

There are times I wonder what this word really means? Would anyone reckon that this word is overrated?

A Painful Lesson

I reckon the car crash that I was in, was the single most painful accident ever. Not only in terms of the car but in terms of the after effects of the car. I blogged that this arrogant young girl is not that arrogant anymore after her crash. That's true, I've been dealt with a severe blow to my face with humility thrown in, in abundance! But what I reckon the most painful lesson in this whole saga of car problems, I now know who my family and friends are. People who stepped forward and help without asking and the bunch that just keeps giving u problems and giving advise when none is asked. I've seen so-called family members nearly spitting into my face, I've seen friends sneering when I asked them for help. Yet, I have friends that helped me out, concerned about me. At the end of the day, I don't ask for help but anyone that approaches me and just ask because they are concern, I'm more than happy and thankful. I can understand not everyone can be in the position to help, but those who are and yet have such heavy arses to move, its really mind boggling!

At the end of it all, if money is just the price to pay for me to know who are my real family and friends, trust me, its a very small price to pay.

Chasing Cars

I just happen to fall in love with this song again. It makes me feel that whatever that is not working will be able to work itself out.

Guardian Angel

Do you believe in guardian angel? I do. I believe that angel of mine had protected me a lot and with all my wrongdoings and the harm I brought on to myself, this angel of mine had never failed me. Thanks a lot!

A lesson in humility

Have you ever been in a situation where you think that you know everything and that you are the king and the world is your oyster? Well, I don't know about the majority people out there. I had been like that. Pride cometh before a fall, as they say. Was it good or bad, that's debatable. However, a point I'm trying to make here is, nothing like a car crash will bring you tumbling back down to earth. We are not invincible neither are we granted with a longevity elixir. Those who had spoken to me in the last 2 weeks, will know that I've had more than my fair share of bad news. I keep telling myself, tomorrow will be a better day. The week will get better, it can't really get any worse than this. In the end, the ultimate climax came when I lost control of the car after it had skidded. I had misjudged a puddle of rain and the car banged into a divider and spun. I can't remember the exact details, but this was just my recollection. Moreover, I was lucky to be alive because the accident was on a flyover, imagine had my car spun off the flyover. It would be my funeral that my family and friends are organizing.

So yes, I've learnt not to party fast and hard, take life easier and slower. I'm really one lucky girl that is counting her blessings for still able to sit here and blog about it. My youthful arrogance had taken a beating and I know I'm not immortal.

Life is short!

I miss my Gramps. His name is Mike Jones. I had known him for about 2 years now. I started calling him Gramps as a joke as he has 2 grandchildren and I thought he didn't look that old. So, that was how Gramps started. It was an experience knowing him. He always have stories to share, his fishing expeditions, silliness over not using sunblock and burnt skin, his retirement plans, his family. His jokes are one of a kind. If you don't know him, he looks like a school headmaster. If you know him, you would love his sense of humor, his generosity and his life philosophy.

I remember an incident where it was after the Sichuan earthquake back in 2008. He was posted there for work. He told me how IBM China had pulled together to collect donation and there was a bin in the office to collect soft toys for the homeless kids. He went out and bought one for the bin. I had asked him to buy one soft toy for me to put in the bin as well. He did it that very afternoon during lunch and he even sent me a picture of the white bear. He even added that the bear would bring some comfort to the kid.

I'm still in a state of shock as we were supposed to meet this week and his previous trip to KL was really his last meet up with me. He mentioned then, that would most likely be his last trip to KL and the last time he will be meeting me in KL. Little did I know, how true those words were. I miss my Gramps and his life philosophy which he will e-mail me once inawhile.

Gramps, wherever you are, saying goodbye to you this way is the hardest thing I've ever done, everything else pales in comparison. It makes me realized life is really short and you can't live with all the coulda, woulda and shoulda. Gramps, I hope you are happy now and no more sunburnt legs! You are with your mom now. Have loads of fun and I will definitely meet you when I join you there! I'll try to dream of you for you promised me that you will hear me. RIP Gramps!

Friends...

I don't know if the majority of people out there goes through different sets of friends at different phases of their life. I did and I'm still going through it. When I was in school, I had a bunch of besties that I wouldn't have replaced in the world. I still stay in touch with them, I miss all of them but our lives have charted different paths sometimes away from each other. We have grown together since we are 13. We have gone through ups and downs, first boyfriends, detentions, clubbing, drinking, shopping, all night phone conversations, sleep overs, you name it, we have done it. We have tried to meet up as much as we could. When we do meet up, once a quarter, we can cause havoc at our meeting place with our loud laughs and noisy chatter.

However, some of us had settled down, married and have babies. We suddenly don't have that much time for each other anymore. Then, you will realized that you have another set of friends that you will meet up regularly. Drinking buddies, colleagues, friends you made along the way. They can't replace the friends you grew up with, but variety is the spice of life. I have a myriad of friends from all different walks of life, all shapes and sizes and all types of skin color. Some surprise me with their sincerity, some surprise me with their crudeness, some I just ignore.

There are some friends out there that I have, I would do anything for them. They will know who they are. They have heard me through my sorrows, my tears. They have also seen me through my smiles, triumphs and successes. There are no words for me to say thank you but I thank God for bringing these bunch of people into my life.

Happy New Year!!!

Once again, a new year has dawned on us. Its amazing how fast a year can go by. Mine just went zooming by and its been a fantastic year. I'm looking forward to a fantastic 2010. My 2010 promises to be a year of revelation and a year of movement. Let's see how far the journey in 2010 will bring me.

Immortality

Its the ending of a year and anticipating a new beginning of another year. To mark the end of 2009, I've actually went for a body check up today and would require a week of waiting in anticipation for my results. There is nothing like a body checkup to make you feel the full impact being a mere mortal. Us in our twenties would think we are invincible and there is nothing for us to worry. But having said that, the full impact of a check-up and the waiting period for the results is nerve wrecking. Let's face it, I don't lead a very healthy lifestyle besides my yoga regimen. So, of course, I would be worried.

Christmas Overdose!!!

"Tis the Season to be Jolly" and I've been hearing this over and over and over again since the beginning of December!!!!! I used to love Christmas for its really a time for my family and time for sharing and caring. However, of late, Christmas is so commercialized that all meaning of Christmas is lost. The endless and needless shopping for gifts for everyone, spending a bomb, thronging the malls with thousands others. Its just not right. Giving should be from the heart and its not obligatory. Nowadays, its hard to step out to anywhere without being blasted with Christmas carols, Christmas sales, Christmas decorations, Christmas spending etc. To me, the magic of Christmas is lost and I can't find the spark that has once made me long for Christmas so much.