Weekends...

I've found a nice place to hang out for my weekends, Alexis @ The Gardens. Its been awhile since I had stepped out on my own armed with my laptop just to while away an afternoon. I just had my facial as well and now my face is pratically glowing while I blog about this moment now.

What I like about this place is the memories that I had here eating clam vongole and yabbies, sipping at mojito, laughing away. That's what I best remember this place of. I haven't come back here in awhile, the last time I was back here was in May and it was with my current guy to create new memories. I'm now seated at one corner of the restaurant on one of their comfy couches and in front of me is a group of 4 friends catching up, a couple which I'm assuming they are just about to start dating and a family of 3 having late lunch. I enjoy sitting in my quiet corner observing people that passes by, their antics and just plain chilling out. I love times like this when I'm alone and the world passes by with me watching it. This is my perfect Saturday afternoon :)

Another year coming to an end.. ALMOST

It just hit me that the year of 2009 is almost three quarters gone. The year has passed by in a blink. I've did loads of traveling this year and changed 2 jobs to date. There has been loads of moving and shaking for me. For good or bad, I've yet to decided but I'm planning to view it on the good side. Well, things can be good or bad depending on your perspective and how you want to view it. So for now, all things are rosy and happy. I think I've finally settled in, in my own skin, comfortable with things and surroundings. I've been blessed this year.

Sex Tourism

As I lay awake last night unable to sleep, tossing and turning, I suddenly remembered a statement made by a friend of mine. She doesn't enjoy going to places like Thailand and Cambodia for the perceived thoughts that its catered to the sex industry. I just thought that it was a sweeping statement made as the sex industry had evolved due to poverty and lack of resources, funding, bribery etc. Its difficult to say that its wrong or right. Like Thailand for example, they make no qualms that they enjoyed millions and billions baht in revenue from sex tourism. But these are all perceptions only.

This same friend of mine would have no qualms going to Amsterdam for a holiday. Now, let's be clear and not cheat ourselves on this. Amsterdam is famed for their red light district, their liberal thinking and drugs freely available. The world's oldest profession, prostitution, is legal in Amsterdam and there are legislation to protect these sex workers. They don't come by cheap in Amsterdam. If I remember correctly, its about 50Euros for a 20 minutes session of just blowjob and their customers are required by law to use a condom. Moreover, these sex workers have the right to refuse a customer.

Now, this is in a liberal country. Put the same girls and scenario in a country where prostitution is not legal but accepted. It becomes a seedy profession where the pimps are often greedy and girls forced into prostitution for various reasons, with the most common reason due to money or dire financial straits. Then, you will get people that exploits the situation and then, suddenly, its all painted in a different color and light.

My friend's sweeping statement was stemmed from a perception of how things are painted. There are certain truths in that statement but then, if each country were to take measured steps to ensure the workers' safety and public acceptance, I'm pretty sure Asian countries would be viewed in a very different way.

By the way, these are only those in the business of prostitution. I haven't even touch on those girls that used their bodies for material gains, although they are labelled as girlfriend by their prospective clients. Its still a business transaction at the end of the day and I'm seeing more and more of young girls with mature men with the hopes of earning money. How would you view this then?

Sex as business has always been viewed in a negative way. For me, its a way of survival like working is to adults. We need to have the means to pay our bills and secure a comfortable life later on. Why can't we be objective and view it as a profession?

1 Malaysia

Its once again, Malaysia's birthday. Although to be exact, Malaysia was only formed in 1963 and we are actually celebrating our independence from the British colony. Let's see what we have achieved in the last 52 years. We are more democratic now, we have voted in our oppositions, yet we are not progressing forward as we should. Everyday we read the newspaper of past corruptions and of injustice of those in position. Then, there is the political debate on alcohol consumption and education system in Bahasa Melayu or English. I'm pretty sure when we have had our independence, our forefather were thinking about how we progress as a country and to mark our presence on the world map. We have created a race called the bumiputras and we have a system that is not based on meritocracy but skin color. It still upsets me but I've grown up with it and for all the flaws she has, I would not abandon her and mouth a single bad word about her.

Its funny that 52 years ago, the whole world sat up and listen to us because we gained independence without any drop of blood shed. We have always enjoyed peace and harmony, in a multi racial country. We pride ourselves in being tolerant to other races, but the recent news of government wanting to tear down temples and holy places break my heart. I've never been a racist, I know what its like to be a 3rd generation of immigrants to a country. We may speak the language, we may blend in with the people yet, we are never truly home. That's how I feel. In fact, I have friends from different races, religions and background. Heck, I also have clothings from different cultures to be used for different function. There is nothing like donning a cheongsam, sari, punjabi suit and kebaya. I have this design in my head for a kebaya with sari material and a mandarin collar. It might be weird but i think its the best of 3 major cultures!!

So while I sketch this out and source the material out, I hope that the current Prime Minister speech of 1 Malaysia, without racial boundaries would come true. Its a wish that I dreamt of and it won't take an instant to change. It might take at least a whole generation to come to terms. But all I wish for is that I would be able to see this change happen while I'm still alive and breathing. And my kids would grow up to know the true and real meaning of racial harmony. I know I want my kids to be able to appreciate different cultures, assimilate it to their lifestyle and create a muhibbah culture for all Malaysians for generations to come. And even if we are all to speak in our own mother tongue, we would be able to understand what is being said. That's my wish and hope for Malaysia, that we would really be a muhibbah community!!! Happy 52nd birthday, dear old girl.. There's more to come and more to look forward to.

The Singles Bane

There are times where I really don't get what is wrong with ticking the singles check box in a form? I'm not married neither do I want to be at this stage in life. I'm happily dating someone although its long distance, but it does have its pros and cons to it. I'm happy being single and independent without depending on any guy. But ask anyone, my mom included, they would tell me its better to have a man to take care of you and bla bla bla... If I want someone to take care of me being a reason to get married, I find that sad. Might as well I look for a maid, I'm pretty sure they can take good care of me as well. I'm looking for a partner not someone to take care of me. I want someone to share my thoughts, my views, my ups and downs, and my future.

Sometimes, its not that wrong to tick the single checkbox. But I've been receiving more than enough invites to be part of some speed dating or dating groups. Do all of us need to put ourselves out there to get someone in our lives? I've seen most couples who suddenly become a "we" and there is no more individuality between the two of them. They seem to have lost who they are. Its pretty sad to me. Does it mean, if at this point in time, I don't have a boyfriend, I would be incomplete and should be looked down upon? Its pretty funny as I've had friends and colleagues alike asking me if they should set me up on blind dates.

Even now that I'm dating someone, it would be when are you getting married. Now this rile me up, is there really a need to get married at 27??? I'm at the happiest moment of my life. I have financial independence, free, ability to do anything. Yet, I'm being asked to settle down with another person and try to work things out. For now, thank you very much, but I'm actually happy with how the way things are now. Settling down? Not now my dear. I've still got loads to do before I can be another guy's equal.

Updates

Its been awhile since I've last updated my blog. I've quit my job in a company that I know I will miss. I went to explore a bit of the western world. Got sick, came home, got better, started work at another company and now I'm back online and up to speed with the world.

Its surprising when you are traveling that time seems immaterial and the things that happened around the world doesn't impact you at all. That's how I felt when I was in Turkey. I went out without a watch, time was really immaterial. The only thing that matters was when I can get my tummy filled, my skin to soak up as much rays as I could. The world went by fine without me acknowledging its presence. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss. The only major news I can't runaway from was Michael Jackson's death. Seems like even in death, his funeral and memorial can be turned into a showcase. Amazing....

I did some traveling to Western Europe with a week in Akbuk, Turkey. Looks like we have found a home in Turkey. Somehow, we made the place in Turkey seems like home after spending 5 days doing the place up and making it comfortable to stay in. It seems funny that we travel halfway round the world to meet up and make a place to call home. But I must admit, in the 5 days we had there, we did a pretty good job of making that place home. There is still more that needs to be done but I guess that can wait till the next time we are there. Maybe in another 6-9 months.

I had some time in London, Paris, Brussels and Amsterdam. Of all those places, I love London the most. Its not the cleanest city I've been to, neither is it the best city in terms of infrastructure. But there is something charming about the mix mash of the old and new in London that captivates me. Paris was beautiful, Brussels was charming and Amsterdam was liberal. But nothing compares to London. Its just a city that captivates and you can find yourself being sucked into the world there. Maybe there is some Harry Potter magic in the London air.

I wish I can blog more but I'm sleepy now... Will try another day... Want to capture my thoughts on Turkey and how it is compared to the western world.

He's just not that into you

If any of you read that book, you will have realized that 90% of the men you dated had displayed one or more of the scenario described in the book. If you had watched the movie, then you will realized that there are some instances there that seems like deja vu. How would you know if the guy is really interested or if he is just stringing you along for a good time? Then I suddenly wondered about my own relationships. Have I been dissecting all those small little things and pieced them all up the way I want them to? Am I insecure and not willing to trust the guy I'm with wholeheartedly? Is it really true that if the guy is interested, he will make things happen and make you really happy? I wonder how much of this is true and real in my current relationship?

Age Catching Up...

You will know when age has caught up with you. You would never be able to stay up all night long and still looked fresh the next day. You would never be able to last through 2 hours of gym without complaining of backache and muscle pain. You would never have that superb memory. You will suddenly find yourself with love handles, sagging boobs, fine lines and cellulites. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about myself.

I never knew that by the time I'm about to turn 27, I would have to face the reality that I'm old or at least I'm starting to be old. Its amazing that things I'm able to do 1-2 years ago, is now a task and a bloody big hassle to-do and that now, it leaves me breathless. Nowadays with my sleep being a big problem, I just realized how old I've suddenly become. I'm literally a walking zombie without a brain for the past few days. I feel lethargic and I feel slow and my brain wasn't working literally.

And to sum up my decline into old age, I went rock climbing today and while I was belaying a guy twice my size, I flew up when he came down. It has left bruises on my thighs where the harness had made its mark. I have nothing left to say except, the blue black better subside fast before my next waxing appointment. If not, my poor wax-er would have a field time guessing what I had done to deserve such blue blacks at my thighs...

Tired...

I have been having sleepless nights for the longest time. Working out, drinking, tiring myself out just didn't work for me. I just couldn't find the peace and quiet within me to close my eyes and lull my brain just to slow down and shut down. I wonder how long of this I would be able to withstand. Am just physically exhausted now. Where's Mr. Sandman when you need him this badly?

The Road Less Travelled

Die has been cast and I'm taking the road less travelled. I really don't know where this will lead me. But at least, I'm taking up this challenge by the horns. I'm going to deliver my promise. I'm going to make it work, whatever it takes. Life would not just be constant for everyone and I remain the same, in terms of attitude and outlook.