What is a Relationship?

I've been constantly asking myself that question. What is a relationship? What is it that constitutes a relationship? What makes a man and a woman to decide to commit to each other? What makes the opposite attracts each other in the first place?

We are currently living in a fast paced technology world where everything speeds up, patience run thin and expectations are high. Do we still have the normal dates where guy picks girl up from home, "interview" with the parents, bring girl out for dinner with flowers and send her home by midnight, and steal a kiss by the door before the father opens the door? Do we still have a conventional date? And what are the dating rules now? Sex on the first date? Sex on the third date? No sex till marriage? Is there still a first date?

The dating rules have changed over the years. Where once the guy will ask the girl to be his girlfriend, with the same serious face as proposal. Now, its a chance meeting in a bar, dancing together, chugging down shots, more dancing and then, a kiss and you leave the bar holding hands, exchanging phone numbers, loads of flirty sms-es and viola, next date will be a romp in bed. And then, moving in together and before you know it, they are together for donkey months. When they finally decided to get married, they'll divorce within months of the marriage. Does that sound familiar to you? Has it happened to someone you know or you yourself?

So what makes a relationship last? Are there clear and set rules? Fundamentally, what is a relationship?

30 days mark

Let's see, its almost one month to the new year and what have I done so far? I went to Australia for 2 weeks and I've got a new role to come back to at work. In fact, I've done quite a fair bit of traveling in December 08 and January 09, to the point that my friends asked me first where am I instead of what I'm doing. As I had mentioned, I was in Siem Reap before Christmas, headed down south for Christmas and then, work for 2 weeks and I was off to Australia for 2 weeks.

I really racked up some travel mileage over the last 2 months. I had really enjoyed it though. I had seen poverty in 3rd world country and went off to metropolitan city and then to a developed country with abundance of land and resources. Its really 3 different places with very distinct atmosphere and feel. I'm glad I had the chance to experience it all. But my last trip was an eye opener for me.

Coming from Malaysia, I had known Asian countries and I haven't travel to a Western country before (Singapore doesn't count!), going to Australia was a totally different experience. I thought summer in Australia would be hot and it would be nice to sit by the beach and get a tan. Boy, was I wrong when I stepped out from the plane at Melbourne! Melbourne is really a quirky place which I come to like a lot. You can experience 4 seasons on a summer day and it switches from cold to hot back to cold in matter of hours. The other thing I couldn't get used to was the fact, sun sets at 9pm!!! Also, I noticed that drinking is the unofficial national sports which all Aussies enjoy. The other thing that got to me was their barbie. I really enjoyed the barbie and drinks that I had the chance to experience with some friends. Although I did see a lot of the country in the span of 2 weeks, I had the most fun hanging out at a friend's backyard, enjoying the barbie with a VB and playing monopoly after that. Its one of those simple pleasures that I can never get enough of. By the way, I can do a mean burp now whereas someone I know can practically fart all night long!! A symphony of wind :p

After Melbourne, I was in Geelong to meet some friends and to do Great Ocean Road and to see the Twelve Apostles. Now, that bloody pile of rocks a bit disappointing but beautiful nevertheless. After 3 days in Geelong and a dose of cricket, we flew to Sydney. Met with some more friends and more drinking ensued :) However, I was insistent to take pictures with the Opera House, Harbour Bridge and to walk to Darling Harbour. Also, I wanted to feel the sand of Bondi. I did all that and more. Oh well, I am a tourist after all ;)

After that, a road trip to Brisbane was a scenic drive with cows and sheep and more cows and sheep. I think I saw more cows and sheep on this trip than I ever have in my whole entire life. But along the way, I got to see Big Banana and Big Prawn. I've always wondered what's with the obsession with all things big. Oh well, to one's own I guess. We ended up in Byron Bay for 2 nights. I fell in love with that place. Its a small laid back town that has interesting pubs, shopping street and cosy small town feel. Its a fantastic place with one of the best bars I've been to and a superb beach. What more can a girl ask for?

We headed north again to Gold Coast. I get to cuddle my koala here and be upclose and personal with kangaroos. I even went to Movie World to have a bit of Hollywood glamour in Australia. I'm just disappointed I didn't get to see Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes there. That would have made my day.

So all in, it was 2 weeks worth of being a tourist and I saw a bit more of Australia than I could possibly imagine. I can't wait for my next trip back to Australia :) After all the fun activities of the past 2 weeks, I came back to KL for CNY. I refused to be disowned on Chinese New Year. Thus, I've decided to do what every dutiful daughter would have done, come home for reunion dinner and usher in the Year of Ox with as much fanfare as possible. After all, who can resist the lure of receiving ang pau (money!!) and a good feast with it too~~~!!

So to all, Happy Chinese New Year, Gong Xi Fa Cai. May the Year of Ox brings happiness, health and wealth and may all have an Ox-picious year ahead.

What is it that we want?

Let's take a count, who, at this moment now, knows exactly what they want out of this life? They know exactly what is the charter right in front of them now and know exactly what they will achieve 2 years down the road? I don't know. I never knew. I have had made plans and I've seen it crumble in front of my eyes in a split second. So now I asked, would you still plan?

I don't know about you but I still try to plan but as I have noticed, sometimes life has its own charter. We might not get what we want out of it. Heck, I might not even get 50% of what I had planned. But in the end, we will reach somewhere. Like they say, enjoy the journey while it lasts. At least, live not to regret the things you had done.

I remember a story a friend had told me. A couple met and got married quite late in life. Both were in their late 30s. They had a blissful married life and was blessed with a cute daughter. But what happened was the husband passed away about 3 years after the marriage. He was diagnosed with cancer. Now, the wife was heart broken that she is now left alone after finding love and needing to take care of the daughter on her own. I'm not sure about their financial capabilities, but that aside, she was angry at the husband for passing on so early. In fact, her remark was, she couldn't believe he had wasted his life when he was young that he couldn't spend more time with her. Actually, the hubby was a party goer, drinking, smoking a lot. But that was where they had met, in a club partying. But yea, you do clean up your act after you have settled down. But you can't regret your past. If the husband had lived healthier, they might not have met. Its easy for me to say that as I'm looking on as a third party.

Would you have lived different lives or changed your lifestyle knowing that you might have a slight chance of possibility of meeting someone you want to share your life with, not knowing when and not knowing how?

That's the question I'm asking myself. Would I be like the woman, all angst and bitter about the husband's death? Or, would I be forgiving and reflecting back on the good memories? If and when I had chosen to settle down with someone.

A new me!!

I took the plunge, I finally did, I cut my hair~!! Ok, I didn't literally cut it on my own, I left it to my trusted hairstylist to do that. I'm not that brave to meddle with my hair length. But it has given me a fresh look and I haven't had hair this short for the last 6 years. :)

What do you think about it?

A brand new year

2009 has officially dawned on us. I'm back to work on the 2nd day of the year. Things are quiet in office and we all gathered to go out for a long lunch. Oh well, it wasn't that long, only 1.5 hours but better than being back in office after a hurried lunch.

The start of 2009. No, I don't have a new year resolution as I still haven't achieved what I had wanted to set out to do in 2008. That's to be debt free. I'm just about there although not quite yet, but I'll make sure that I achieve this is in 2009.

Reflecting back on 2008, I'm happy with the stuff that I had done, no regrets on actions I had taken and with that, I'm moving forward into 2009 anticipating a fantastic year ahead. 2009 for me will be a year of change and anticipation of bigger things to come. I can't wait for the challenge of change. Let's bring on 2009.

Merry Christmas and Happy 2009~~!!

Merry Christmas.. Ok, I'm officially late by 2 days but whose counting. Anyway, its been a busy 2 weeks. I spent last weekend in Siem Reap and back to work for 2 days before going off to Singapore for 4 days. I shall blog a bit on Siem Reap. It deserves a whole chapter on its own :)

The Year That Has Been

2008. I would remember my 2008 for a couple of things. My travels for one, weddings would be another, work would be the third and the people I have met the fourth.

In 2008, I've been to Krabi, Thailand, Pulau Weh, Indonesia, Perhentian and Singapore. Before the year is out, there will be Siem Reap on my travel list. I'm starting 2009 with another travel :)

This year also turned out to be a record high of weddings. I started the year with Kah Mei's wedding, Shukreen's wedding in Perhentian, my niece's wedding, Mei Fong's wedding, Gwen's wedding, Michelle's wedding, Charles' wedding, Emily's wedding, Loke Meng's wedding and I'm ending the year with Zafry's wedding. That's 10 weddings and I miss 2 out of that. Sorry Charles and Loke Meng. However, I had fun at all weddings and I still say I admire their courage to commit to each other for the rest of their lives.

For me, work this year has more downs than ups. I have organized a new record high of farewell lunches and dinners for my colleagues. Louis, Francis, Terry, Razim, Eileen, Goh, May, Jane. I'm going to end the year with yet another farewell for Gwen. I'm missing these folks for they had made work fun for me. In the end, I became somewhat of a hermit because these folks no longer around. The beginning of the year till mid of the year was the unhappiest period for me. From then onwards, I couldn't progress and move forward from it all. I tried, I really tried and the harder I try, I got tired and frustrated. In the end, there is no more satisfaction derived from the hardwork and effort I had put in. Yes, it had sowed and reaped yet it doesn't bring a smile to my face. Not anymore. I've made up my mind and I've decided next year, I'm changing to a new role and I'm moving towards a different environment. For better or worse, it would be a fresh start for me. Also, I've decided to go back and study. That means, I must first study for my GMAT.

And lastly, 2008 marks the most significant point. The people I had met throughout the year. People I had met on my travels, people that I had met from work, friends I had made along the way, old friends that I had not spoken to in 10 years or more, friends who had been by my side for aeons. I think in the end people marks the essence of life. People from different walks of lives relate differently to things and there is so much to learn from them. I have never failed to be impress by people. It is them that had made a difference to my life.

And lastly, December 10th marks a new addition to my family. Lil Jacob. However, he is having breathing difficulties now and he is in the Baby Care Unit, ICU version for the babies. I'm very very worried about him. Everytime the phone rings, my heart stopped. I'm afraid of bad news and I would give anything to ensure he gets home safe. I'm praying hard that Lil Jacob will survive this and I hope he will grow up strong and tough.

Living my life

In all honesty, I have thought I would have no regrets on how I live my life. I would have thought till now, I have broke free from whatever bonds, imaginary or real, that ties me down. Surprisingly, I had never really broken free. I thought I had. I thought I did.

Played out

To be played out by senior members of the company and to be labelled as incompetent and no execution... This is the first...

Madness and Craziness

Its now mid November and the whole team or rather the whole entire company is in utter madness and craziness. We are all pushed into overdrive mode and push as hard as we are, the morale is bad and with some of the senior people giving very snipe and sarcastic remarks, I wonder where will all this leads us to. Surprising somehow that some people thinks that with sarcastic remarks we work harder. That is not true. Its demoralizing and it makes us very very defensive. I just find it sad that we have to stoop to that level and things that have been promised to be improved was as usual empty promises. And yet, we are still required to deliver when things are looking bleak. Instead of pep talks we get this. Are we supposed to move forward? Are we supposed to move forward with very thick skinned and face? Are we really supposed to be calendar face all the way?

The fighting spirit in me has left and I am nothing but someone who is trying her luck pushing and hoping things will improve. I keep my fingers cross tightly in hopes that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. But whatever flickers of light I glimpsed in the passing has diminished. I wonder what the future holds?