To be a beach bum again

I long to be a beach bum now. Just let the days pass lying in the sun, working on my tan, read books, dive as and when I want to and literally let the world pass with nary a worry and a frown on the head. :) Oh well, we can all dream..

Relationships?

I had always wondered what is it about love and relationship that makes the most sane amongst us go goo goo gaa gaa over it. Or take a word from Carrie in Sex & the City, its the feeling of zsa zsa zsu. I just felt some relationships, you don't see it coming, some you manipulate it to come your way, some just developed naturally. In the end, we trust our butterflies in the stomach to make a decision on the relationship. Now I wonder, are we always making the right choices then? If we are, then I rest my case. At times, we go with the one that seems to provide more fun than others. Me? I go with the one that can make me laugh, impress me, challenge me with their sense of humor and wit and ultimately, still love me for all my quirkiness. Is it too much to ask for in a man? I think so...

Government & Their Promise

Its funny how the government operates. Its not until there is an election will there be benefits for its people. Sad isn't it when these are the people we had elected. The recent story of PM riding the public transport and listening to public's problem, this is something he should have done long time ago and for that matter, while he was the Deputy. But no, the public had to wait for yet another "major" election to take place before we see some light from the government. Funny isn't it, that this is the government we chose and the government that insisted they place their people's priority of utmost importance. The problem with public transport is not something new. Its not something that wasn't highlight, it wasn't something that the public never groused about. Yet, with a certain constituency's bi-election we see the government acting. Sigh....

In the interest of time

This week had been the tops of my list of worst weeks ever. Monday was my car's side mirror got knocked, Tuesday was rushing over something I had no control over, Wednesday was my car's auto window failed and a project slippage, Thursday was rushing for 2 projects which I had no view whatsoever and Friday capped off a presentation of a solution I learnt in 2 minutes the day before. So there you have it, a week in Pei Jet's history of doom. The whole week went by in a blur but it was not all bad news. A friend will be coming to visit next week, I'm getting my tattoo done next week and the following week, I might just go down south for a weekend of fun and booze given its the National Day holiday.

I can't believe the year is coming to an end soon. So much had happened this year that it makes this year pass by in a second. I've traveled a bit, I've met some interesting people, I've had relationships and I've ended relationships, I've had a few hits and misses, I've learnt and found out what's important for me, I'm still stumbling along with what I want in life (but who doesn't anyway). Like I've said before and I'll say it again, I have no regrets and make no apologies about how I live my life so far. My only regret would be if I don't have enough time to see the whole world before I die.........

Questioning my capabilities

I'm in the middle of one of my toughest week. I have 3 projects running simultaneously and I can feel myself losing control over it all. Each one is slipping away from my control as I blog. And that's just only on the work front. I don't even want to blog about the others. Sigh.. I'm really wondering did I bite more than I can chew or am I really up to it? I guess time will tell. As of now, I don't believe in my capabilities anymore.

Work expands to fill time

This was given to me in an e-mail by a lady who sits high up at work. So being the not so intellectual me, I did a google search and this is what I got from Wikipedia. Basically, this is an old adage from Parkinson's law of "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion". But the basis of this phrase came about from Parkinson's observation of the British Civil Service, where he noted the staff of the colonial office when being absorbed into Foreign Office after the fall of British empire overseas is at its all time high. The work that was available wasn't that different from year to year but the staff increment was at 5-7% year to year. So, Parkinson noted that it is actually bureaucracies that expands over time irregardless of the work available because officials want to increase their subordinates and to make work for each other.

So with that explanation behind Parkinson's Law, where does that leave me? Is she telling me that I need to get more people or I need to work to justify her position? It makes me wonder when she used that phrase, does she really know and understand what it means?

Three Times A Lady

"Thanks for the times
That you've given me
The memories are all in my mind
And now that we've come
To the end of our rainbow
There's something
I must say out loud
You're once, twice
Three times a lady
Yes you're once twice
Three times a lady
And I love you
I love you

When we are together
The moments I cherish
With every beat of my heart
To touch you to hold you
To feel you to need you
Theres nothing to keep us apart
You're once twice
Three times a lady
And I love you
I love you"

This is one song someone had told me about. I had loved this song a long time ago. But I haven't listen to this song for a long time and it was brought to my attention again today. To me, this song meant about love lost but no regrets. Its a bittersweet feeling. It really is sweet as the feeling of love and being loved and then knowing that this is the end of the road is bitter. I thank this friend of mine for the past 10 months journey where he had been my rock, my listener, my support beam. We went on different path when I wanted something more than he can promise. That broke my heart but it also made me grow up. We had dragged this for far too long, and deep down we both know things would have ended sooner or later. A lot of words we had exchanged, both good and bad, the midnight chats, the tears and laughter we shared, the times when I pour out my frustration and my complains. He made me realized all things are never ideal and will require a huge dose of realism. He made me learn about patience, the meaning of give and take, to understand other people and he was there to catch me whenever I fall. He had journeyed with me the last ten months and we are still the best of friends. You know who you are and you know how much you meant to me this whole time and for the time to come. Thanks for everything~~~~~~~~~!!!

Surprises along the way

Its surprising how things and situation will work out in the end. I used to be very afraid to work with certain groups for their "perceived" high and mighty attitude and how they are so full of themselves at times. But now, I realized that's my one sided perception of things as somehow, the first impression which is the MOST lasting impression might not always be the correct impression. There are some people who are not who they seem to be at first glance. And now, after working with them and actually brainstorming instead of being at each other's throat, I find that they are humans also at the end of the day. Yes, they make mistakes and they might have some wrong doing. What we see at first glance might be one of the off days. My impression was corrected when they actually can sit down with me empathize with me and at the end of it all, we can all joke although we argue like mad over certain business matter 1 hour before. Everytime this happens to me, I get warm fuzzy feeling. It tells me once again, life is not that cruel and heartless at times. The people we meet along the way makes a lot of difference to who we are. It tells me also there is hope for warmth and a sense of togetherness in the cut throat corporate world.

Gone Bonkers

Nothing that I do seems real and right anymore. Going through the motions and going through life as day passes by seems to have overtaken me.I'm literally going through the motions, not questioning the purpose and not even coming close to bother with it anymore. Is this really me? I've gone bonkers just trying to cope with how things are. How things actually worked out to be. I mean, I'm literally not thinking anymore. The stupidest part about all these is the very fact that I feel I can't be bothered anymore. That's not me. And yes, I've gone bonkers trying to pace things through. For now, I just want to rest as I have a bet to win tomorrow.

Life?

The sequence of life is baby, kid, kindergarten, primary school, secondary school, university, work, get married, have kids, die. That's the usual sequence of life and along it will be peppered with sickness, hurt, love, happiness, smiles and all the bittersweet memories of living a life. But what makes our lives different from others? What are the things that differentiates our lifestyle? For me, I don't know what difference I can make on this Earth, however, I'll definitely for sure would want to go to every single inch of this earth. Along my travels, I meet people from different walks of life and its amazing how it all works out for them. I can't say the same for me but I know for sure I would want to live a life of my own without people dictating it and without any prejudice. I don't want to lie on my dying bed and regret things that I should, could, would have done.