Moving Forward

I hope I'm moving forward. I hope moving forward is the right direction. Wherever this new direction may bring me, at the very least I'm liberated and free to do as wish. Regrets? None so far or maybe one or two along the way. However, I've learnt the lesson from it all. So, I'm moving forward, moving on, may it bring me to a new destination and another different experience.

Long Overdue Post

Hi ya, I just got back from a 6 days trip to Krabi, Thailand. It was fun with all the cheap booze, good food, hilarious traveling companion and meeting new people. We stayed one night at Krabi town in a cozy hotel called @Krabi Pura. @Krabi Pura is a wonderful, cozy small hotel where the deco is beautiful. There is a landscaped garden at the back, and the entrance is inviting without the overwhelming feel. The rooms are strategically place to look out to the Mae Nam Krabi (Krabi River). On each floor, there is a landing and balcony which is super inviting to read books while overlooking the Mae Nam and listening to birds chirping. Peaceful~~!!!

Our first stop after depositing our bags were food at Koh Tung Restaurant. Cheap, fresh seafood cooked Thai style with loads of tomyam was the order for the whole entire trip. We decided to go for a longtail boat ride around the mangrove area of Mae Nam Krabi for an hour. Its the first time I sat on a longtail boat and we stopped by at a cave exploring the limestone formation. After that, we decided to walk around the town square just to work off the lunch. The town is quaint and small. We covered it within 2 hours of walking with loads of shopping all the way. We rested our tired legs for 2 hours which I sat at balcony reading my book. I have never felt so at peace with myself. Night time, we walked to the 2 markets for food. I got my thai dessert, Look Choob :) yummy~~!!!!

After a good nightcap with Chivas and chatting with Jan, we left Krabi town via a sawthaeng to Ao Nang. We stayed at Buri Tara Resort at Ao Nang. Its not by the beach and a bit secluded from the busier parts of Ao Nang. Right opposite the hotel is a construction site. I think that pretty much explains the low price of 2000Baht for the 2 nights. Ao Nang has one busy strip of shops by the beach and loads of smaller bars which are pretty dingy. However, booze is really cheap. 100 Baht for cocktails and its Buy 1 Free 1. Oh yes, Pei Jet has found her paradise~~!! At Ao nang, we went kayaking at Ao Thalene for half day with fantastic view of the mangroves, lagoons and monkeys~~!! It was also a fantastic workout for the biceps, triceps and shoulders~~!! It was also a good workout for my legs and butt as there was small distance where water was low and we had to tread through mud while pulling the kayak. Its really an experience. Second day, we went island hopping around the famed Phi Phi Island, snorkeling, sun tanning and basically just plain lazing around.

After another nightcap with Chivas, we packed our bags and head out to Railay Beach. We stayed at Railay Bay. One of the resort that connects Railay West and Railay East. It has a superb view and superb place to sun tan :) Yea, I worked on my tan there. We walked to Phra Nang Beach as well where the famous Phra Nang Cave is. Phra Nang Cave is believed to be the dwelling of a princess goddess (Phra Nang) and the fishermen pay their respects to her with lingam as a form of fertility and creation. Thus, the locals believed that Phra Nang will replenish their catches at sea. After that, we went rock climbing. Rock climbing is famous in Railay because of beautiful limestone creations. We climbed with Tex Rock Climbing School. Our guide, Sing, is a quiet guy but helpful and always ready with a smile.

We spent our last night at Railay East at a bar called Last Bar. They are literally the last bar on the strip. Its a typical beach bar with a very strong Thai influence. There are bamboos floor thatched out from the bar area with floor seatings and if you lie down, you can see beautiful twinkling stars on a clear night. I spent the night with my pina colada staring up at the sky searching for shooting stars. I was hoping to make a wish if there was one. Met up with some backpackers young school leavers from Europe, working folks from all over and almost half of them are working in an Asian country. I always enjoy meeting people like this. You never know what stories they bring and you would never have guessed their experience.

A whole new beginning

I believe that 1st July 2008 signaled a new turning point for me, work wise. I've 2 new bosses which I've always respected and I'm looking forward to working with them. I have no idea how this will work out for me but at least I'm out of the bottom of the dumps. In the end, its just me and I shall have what it takes to make a difference.

Disappointed Time and Again

Yes, I'm disappointed time and again at work. But how could it be that everyone that comes in replacing the head always has fantastic idea and plans and reorganizing the whole team and yet, when push comes to crunch, its just all talk and nothing else. All the actions promised, escalation for help, call for help, all the problems we poured out. It still doesn't make any difference to how we operate as a team. There are still last minute requests we have to entertain, complying and answering and reporting all for the sake of those very actions. Requests for help ignored and when someone higher up escalates, we at the ground scramble trying to understand the bizarre requests and complying as best as we could. And we do all these in the name of that, just do. Without any strategy, without any view, without any light at the end of the tunnel. And yet, we tell ourselves, things will be better, situation will be better and hope against hope, we will persevere to the end. I've just been told if I don't have the passion for my work I should leave. And I've been told I'm lucky.. What this person didn't realize is that I've also poured in hard work and spent time to be part of the team. Nothing has come easy unless you really spend your time to develop it. I've paid my dues for it. And yet, another manager comes along promising change and once again, I've been disappointed.

Productivity = Zero

Today my productivity is close to zero. I didn't manage to sleep last night, tossing and turning till about 5am. I was way beyond tired this morning. I don't even want to start analyzing why I can't sleep. But I did manage to complete the things I had set out to do. So in a way, I'm not that worse off...

Tai Chi Masters and excuses

I have decided once and for all to give a team a piece of my mind. I couldn't take tai chi masters continually not taking accountability of their responsibilities. There are certain work ethics to adhere to and there are certain methods of resolving problems. I can take it whichever method you use and make sure you are professional at all times. But leaving a problem unresolved for 3 weeks is unacceptable when you have a bunch of experienced people to manage it. So it all boils down to no one wanting to take responsibility and can have the cheek to tell me that its because we have a young person leading it. I don't buy that at all. I mean, I'm also young. Does that mean I can use that as an excuse to perform badly? If that's the case, for all the mistakes I had made, its forgivable due to my age? Unfortunately, I have to take accountability for my actions and I owned up to the actions I had taken, learnt from it all and I still had to pay dearly for my mistakes. Trust me, age has no holds on punishment.

Eventful Weekend

It was an eventful weekend alright. Started with a BBQ on a Friday night that got me high and another guy drunk, friends laughing away and met some new people. Interesting people. And then, there was a marriage registry which I was too tired to attend and a wedding dinner to attend. This time round, it was yet another of my schoolmate getting hitched. After so many wedding dinners, this time round, we were happy there was only 8 of us at our table. Less people, more food. Not like we can eat a lot.

There were 8 girls chatting away, gossiping and asking when the next one going to get married or have kids. This time, we have our latest addition to the group. Julie girl, Kah Mei's cutesy princess joined the gang. Its still amazes that we can actually pop out a baby. Sorry for my words, but I can't for the sake of my life now, to begin imagine popping out a baby. Anyhow, Julie was an absolute darling with her big round eyes and her dancing to songs and garnering our attention. She was a complete angel and for 2 hours plus she didn't cry to demand attention and eats almost the same amount as us~~!!! Michelle was the prettiest that night and rightfully so, as her gowns are so her, complete in pink and with frills, epitome of the princess of the day.

It was so fun to be able to sit down with friends and just chat away. We have known each other since secondary school and some since kindergarten. I can't believe I have friendships of more than 20 years~~!! We started asking the photographer to take pictures of us girls and believe it or not, when it came to toasting at each different tables, our table won as usual. At every wedding we attend, we practice our vocals with very long and loud, "YUM SENG". It was no different at this wedding and we are the loudest which surprised EVERYONE there :p given that we are the only all girls table.



Michelle & Tian's Dinner

To be or not to be

At times I wonder what's the purpose of my life here on this Earth. If its meant for living to just add to the numbers of people on this Earth, then I don't see my value. We are all on time sharing basis here on this Earth. It has nothing but just to make the best out of everything. We all have the same time on this earth, the same amount of time day in and day out. The amount of time that Einstein spent on his quantum theory day in, day out is still the same 24 hours daily. Its just how he chose to used those hours. As for me, I wonder what's the meaning of my life here if I don't make a difference to the people I get to meet on a daily basis. Does that mean, I'm practically just whiling away time till I get to meet Christ and God and be judged for wasting my time here? That's how I feel at times especially whenever I hit a stumbling block or whenever I'm unhappy with things.

Coughing my lungs out

Had not been blogging for a week. Am coughing my lungs out currently. Stupid throat infection of mine had been bugging me on and off for a month and I finally succumb to it, a week after my gastric. Sigh.. Think my body resistance is definitely on the super low side. Oh well, have a good rest, recuperating over the last weekend and on Monday. Forced myself to work on Tuesday only to be blur the whole day by the medication. Now, I'm just wishing for another weekend to sleep. I just need rest~~!!!

Appreciation of those around me

In my most recent incident, one thing struck me hard was I could be beaten down and flat on the floor. But it takes your own courage, strength and faith to pull yourself back together and show the critics they are wrong about you. I've bounced back and I'm ready to prove those who gave me the finger and the push that they are indeed wrong about me. I've never back down from a challenge and the fighting spirit in me although was diminishing, its back with a sparkle.

Also, I've learnt one thing. That is of those around me for their support. I really thank God for these bunch of people. I never knew my parents could take things so positively. In fact, they surprised me more than anyone else. And my sisters as well. We were never really closed for the matter given the geographical distance and us leading separate lives. And me being the rebellious one, it isn't easy. I admit I caused half the problems. However, when I needed them to be with, they gave up their weekend just for me and they cooked a dinner~~!! They were concerned and they were worried. It was something I had never expected them to do. Nevertheless, I was touched and I appreciated their gestures. There are also my close bunch of friends who didn't hesitate whenever I called them out for a bitching session and who were there for me to air my concerns, grievances and always ready with a hug. Lastly, I would have never expected some of my colleagues to support me, fought for my position and had believed in me when I had given up on myself. I really appreciate these people, I don't need to name names, they'll know who they are. I count my blessings and my lucky stars that I am surrounded by these people.

Thanks for sticking by me when I was a bitch to everyone else around me~~!!!!